The New Jersey Nets and Major League the Movie…..Eerily Similar
Ok, so the concept came from thoughts during the Dec. 28th Washington Wizards @ New Jersey Nets game blog.
Has the Jigga man been making [the New Jersey Nets] take cold showers, use duct tape to tape ankles and travel on a rickety old bus so that they will lose games and the franchise will thus have to move to Brooklyn? Plausible.
Makes me think, this year’s New Jersey Nets can definitely be compared to Major League I.
So….I decided to make the comparison it’s own entry.
Ladies and Gentlemen, you’re Major League New Jersey Nets:
Vince Carter as Roger Dorn – prima donna: check – high priced: check – can easily quit on a team: check
Jason Kidd as Eddie Harris – hey, I’m convinced that Jason Kidd doctors the ball too (of course, Kidd could also be compared to Roger Dorn because of the whole wife cheating thing)
Richard Jefferson as Willie Mays Hays – both flashy – Willie nails his batting gloves to the wall, Richard Jefferson gets buildings at the U of Arizona named after him
Bostjan Nachbar as Pedro Cerrano – they’re both foreign
Marcus Williams as Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn – they’ve both balled in the penal leagues
Lawrence Frank as Manager Lou Brown – with his boyish looks, I’d at least like to think that Lawrence Frank has the voice of James Gammon
Marv Albert as Harry Doyle – Doyle likes to get sloshed and Marv likes biting the ladies, forced sodomy, wearing women’s underwear and phone sex. It’s an easy deduction people. Mark Jackson is stuck with being the non-verbal sidekick
And as originally mentioned, Jay-Z as owner, Rachel Phelps — actually, strike that, Beyonce can be Phelps and J-Hova can be GM Charlie Donovan.
Will the Nets end up making the playoffs? I don’t think so…then again, I would not bet against it.
BTW…missed the Wizards slaughter of the Heat yesterday, had a wedding to attend. Glad we got the win. The Miami Heat have caused me many bad Wizard’s moments in recent history. Now, we own them. Actually, the whole league is owning them this year — kinda lessens the satisfaction of the two times the Wizards have beaten them this year. [Here’s the live blog from win #1]
In any case, here are the links to all the good coverage:
- It was a symbolic demolition. Nothing more. [Bullets Forever]
- Bullets stomp Heat [DC Pro Sports Report]
- Blatche Keeps Wizards Rolling [Washington Post]
- Wizards Heal With Heat [Washington Times]