I wouldn’t root for [blank] if they were playing the Axis of Evil
When I was younger, my dad would say, “I wouldn’t root for so-and-so if they were playing against the Chinese communists.” ‘So-and-so’ being a hated sports team.
Over the years, I’ve filled-in the blank with the likes of the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, New York Knicks, New England Patriots, Los Angeles Lakers, Duke Blue Devils, Notre Dame Irish, Ole Miss Rebels, and of course, the Dallas Cowboys.
Well, in this modern day, China and their communists have become a tad more amicable to the American sports fan……human rights issues such as Tibet and the opinion of Ira Newble notwithstanding. And since Beijing is hosting the 2008 Summer Olympic games, my dad’s sarcastic statement no longer carries the same weight. China just isn’t the enemy it used to be.
So where do we turn? Towards the Axis of Evil, naturally. Originally made up of Iran, Iraq and North Korea…..I’m pretty sure it’s safe to drop Iraq from the list (as Saddam, Uday and Qusay are no more — talk about evil, Uday owned THREE copies of Air Bud), and North Korea has claims of denuclearization. So, that leaves us to wash the Iranians with a bucket of haterade.
In his latest move of defiance, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is sending the Iranian National Basketball team (which miraculously qualified for the ’08 ‘Lympics by winning the FIBA Asia games last year) to the U.S. of A. to infiltrate the Rocky Mountain Revue and fight a couple jihads against the summer league teams of the Dallas Mavericks and the Utah Jazz.
Now if this was last generation’s Utah Jazz, you might find many utter the statement, “I wouldn’t root for the Jazz if they were playing the Iranian Freedom Haters.” At least most that I knew had a severe distaste for Messrs Karl Malone and John Stockton. Personally, as great as Jordan was, I thought it was time that the Bulls be taken down….a ring for each finger on one hand was enough. Basketball blasphemy? Whatever.
In the end, one shouldn’t expect much fan fare over an Iranian team playing summer squad NBA hopefuls, such as Charles Rhodes, Gerald Green, and Kosta Koufos. However, if Jaber Rouzbahani and his comrades show up to the games wearing bulky trench coats, there may be cause for concern.
In the meantime, I’ll limit my hope to some American bows connecting with Iranian chops, and perhaps some trash talking along the lines of, “You bitches better take it easy with all that uranium enrichment else I’ll sanction that ass….again.” Now if the Iranian basketball team was set to match up against the Dookies at Cameron Indoor, then my nationalistic rooting interests would be seriously compromised.