Perhaps Blinded By Darius Songaila’s Brightness, Wizards Fans See Him As Neither Slow, Nor White
The Answer: According to the voting via text messaging public, team choir boy, Darius Songaila, would “win” a race between him, Etan Thomas and Andray Blatche in a landslide.
Blatche received a decided 45% of the attending fan vote. Perhaps they believed Blatche’s flatulance would be a detriment, or that a stomach full of nachos would weigh him down, but most likely chose Andray because he just lacks stamina.
After the finally tally, the jumbotron displayed a video montage of answers from the Wizards themselves. Some claimed that Songaila would, in fact, finish last, but more seemed to believe that an unlisted candidate, Oleksiy Pecherov, would be pulling up the rear.
Songaila himself vehemently denied any accusations that he would be last, and I believe him. Have you ever seen Songaila run? He gets those arms moving like the propellers of the Spruce Goose, surely giving him an edge, and more than compensating for the stigma of being slow and white.