Poo-Poo Platter Game 42 Blog: Wizards at Lakers | Truth About It.net

Poo-Poo Platter Game 42 Blog: Wizards at Lakers

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Updated: January 23, 2009

Well….did we expect anything else? Thought so.

Q1

1st Laker Possession: McGuire is guarding Kobe (Reggie Miller calls D-Mac a defensive “Guru” whoa…easy there buddy…let the kid develop first)….he held his ground for the most part…..but still let Kobe get deep and he just missed the shot.

1st Wiz Possession:
D-Mac up top as distributor says Fratello….but Kobe is a rover and Dom misses an open mid-range J (had that hitch in his shot there)

D-Mac looks a little intimidated on D…flinching at every Kobe move.

Habit: Wiz miss their first five, all jumpers. Lakers up 7-0.

And there’s no way Jamison can guard Gasol down low or when he shoots a mid range fade. 9-3 Lakers.

7:44: Butler hits a three…..that’s about the only shot he seems to want to take/get.

Fratello is going down the ‘woe are the Wizards’ laundry list.

Well, the paint looks like an ocean for the Lakers.

5:38: Jamison gets a three…the Wiz are 3-6 in shots they should not be taking (running an outside motion, trying to get Gasol out the lane…if they don’t, Jamison pops). 16-13 LA.

5:16: Bynum is getting Blatche with a combo of footwork, pump fakes and ball movement. 18-13 Lakers, 6 points for Bynum.

4:17: Jamison came to play….13 points already?

But Bynum gets dunk on the other end and Andray begins to hang his head…(Caron Butler must stop penetration though….LUKE WALTON, of all people, drove it down his throat).

3:22: Blatche misses a fall away and pauses in self pity…how about getting your ass back on defense?

2:25: Quick trigger Butler….not even a dribble, WHY?

I wonder what the scouting report on Jamison says…how do teams intend to guard him? He’s a crafty devil.

1:15: McGee….wow, got inside position on Gasol…offensive board and strong two-hand put back layup……only on a softy like Pau. 26-22 LA.

JaVale is coming out with confidence..LA left him a lane in broken down offense and he took advantage.

31-24 Lakers after one
…..doesn’t seem like the Wiz should be that close.

Q2

Jamison and kids start…Crittenton, McGee, Young, and McGuire.

And then McGee starts with an airball.

And then a dunk….let’s call him Mr. Plus/Minus for now.

JaVale’s rebound makes Reggie Miller say “wow, he is long” — either that or he was quoting his favorite porno.

Odom dunks down the lane….we see Jamison’s WTF face. 36-26 LA.

Just like babies are dazzled by shiny, fast-moving things, the Wiz kids are hypnotized by ball movement and the bright lights of LA.

Even though he hustles back, McGee has no clue that they are lobbing it to Gasol..runs into him..foul.

9:04: Wow….Jamison doubles immediately on Gasol with McGee…pass to Odom, touch pass to Ariza, dunk…..the Lake show is Bobby Fishering these chess moves. 41-26 LA.

Fucking Wizards……15.5 points was not a big enough spread.

Let’s see….

  • The “Sasha” Machine is hounding the hell out of Nick Young.
  • Mike James is far from special, but Crittenton is killing the team with youth and lack of offense.
  • The Wiz are missing defensive assignments in letting Odom jet by himself for a dunk after a long Nick Young miss.

COMMUNICATION? Fuck the Aristotle quotes Tapsquat….how about just getting your players to talk to each other?

6:33: Gasol posterizes both Jamison and McGee….shit show ugly. 50-32 Lakers.

6:00: Kobe comes back in….I can only hope that they try to hack the shit out of his finger.

If you reversed the 9-32 record of the Wizards, they’d be a game behind the Lakers.

Andray is winning the hand raising contest.…”Whoever Blatche guards is scoring down in the low post” says the Czar.

3:15: Lakers….14 layups, 72% from the floor.

HA! Andray Blatche moment.…that bamma is picking up so many fouls that when there is a call against any one of four Wizards against Bynum bullying himself to the hoop, Andray points directly at McGuire.

Ain’t this a bitch.

Jamison has 19 points….the Lakers are winning by 25.

72-47 half-time fuckery.

Q3

Mike James finally hits a basket….or a floater. If the Wizards hope to cover the spread, him getting hot may be the only chance…scary.

Cheryl Miller reports that Tapscott is going to go with the elders more in the 2nd half…this can’t make many happy. Yes, the vets sucked, but the kids sucked even more…..and there’s only so much head-hanging a coach can witness after youthful mistakes….we’ll see.

9:12: Luck Stuff: The Lakers start the 3rd going 1-10…missing a lot of close gimmes and rebound tips.

9:00: McGuire no hitch jumper = smooth make from up top after Mike James penetration. 74-51 LA.

5:09: D-Song hits another bucket….looks like he’s broke out of his mini shooting slump with 8 points. 85-59 LA.

3:00: Well, the Wizards are building on their 25-point halftime deficit and are now down 33….Odom just hit a trey from the corner and kept his arm in the air like Sidney Deane in White Men Can’t Jump.

The Wizards keep the deficit to a “respectable” 29 (hey, it’s not 30) at the end of the 3rd. 97-68 LA.

Q4

Kids, do your thing….Crittenton, Young, McGuire, McGee, and YES! Oleksiy Pechrov!!

The Lakers, on the other hand, are letting Odom get his numbers while also playing Bynum, Vlad Rad, Ariza and SAAAsha. What, we can’t get Mihm, Sun Yue, or Josh Powell? Go fuck yourself Phil Jackson.

The Wiz have shot two airballs in a row…SWEET!

Derek Fisher is about to fall asleep on the bench.

McGee nice jam….watching the game at a friend’s and forgot to effing DVR this turd fest for later ripping.

Hey, Grunfeld is in La-La Land…..maybe I should trim the beard and keep the mustachio like him.

8:24: Nick Young ducks up a funk.

I could have sworn that Reggie Miller just said that Mitch Kupchak must have sold the Indians to get Gasol in LA….I must have heard that wrong.

8:00: Chris Mihm is dunking and shit.

6:40: Crittenton draws some OOHS by going behind his back for a pretty layup.

I wonder if the Wizards will be on national television at all next year. I’m sure they’ll throw a Wiz-Cavs game on…at least one.

2:30: The young gu
ys are really hustling….110-89. Uh oh…game getting me excited (have a friendly bet with a Laker fan co-worker…he gave me 15.5)….yea, I know, it’s a long shot.

McGee has 18 points…..and I really don’t care.

Oh so close to the spread…..nope.

So sad, that I have to say that the final score of 117-97 Lakers is a lot closer than the actual game was.

The Wizards dropped a turd - flickr/KarolusLinus


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