Wes Unseld Wants More Yao Mings | Wizards Blog Truth About It.net

Wes Unseld Wants More Yao Mings

Updated: September 8, 2009

Upon discovering that he played against Yao Ming’s father during his visit to China 30 years ago, Wes Unseld pleaded with the Chinese to get busy in the bedroom and start making more Yao Mings to send to the NBA, preferably in the Wizards’ direction.

Chinese officials promptly snickered and told big Wes not to worry. They then pointed to a “friendly” mascot being held by Caron Butler, which is really a non-lethal DNA collection robot that will be sent back to the U.S. to gather samples from various Wizards (sorry DeShawn, you aren’t needed for this) so they can be combined with that of Ming to create a monster the league has never seen. His name will be Car’Twan-yao Gilwood Ming-Arenas.

via CRIEnglish.com

via CRIEnglish.com

The robot then expanded after drinking some Tuff Juice and challenged Caron to a game of 1-on-1. The bot, named Haibao, was winning 8-6 until Butler gave it the ‘Crocodile Dundee Gender Test’, confusing Butler and embarrassing the robot. The cruelty of being non-gendered, and having short arms, was too much for Haibao to overcome. It lost 11-9.

via sports.qq.com

via sports.qq.com

Ok, none of this really happened … but Unseld did say:

“I have one request to make, if you have any more Yao Mings, please send them to the Washington Wizards.” [via The US Daily, Reuters]

*If you thought this post was stupid, then you are 100% correct.

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Kyle Weidie
Founder / Editor / Reporter / Writer at TAI
Kyle founded TAI in 2007 and has been weaving in and out the world of Wizards ever since, ducking WittmanFaces, jumping over G-Wiz, and avoiding stints on the DNP-Conditioning list. He has covered the Washington pro basketball team as a member of the media since 2009. Kyle currently lives in Brooklyn, NY with his wife, loves basketball, and has no pets.