Where Jim Zorn Wants To Be and Wizards Links
Sure this is a Wizards blog, but as a DC sports fan, I can’t go without poking fun at the pathetic state of my Redskins.
Now that his play-calling duties have been taken away, I bet Jim Zorn feels just as bad as baby Falcon Heene. It’s probably only a matter of time until Zorny throws up on TV from all the nervousness caused by his pappy, Tiny Dan Snyder.
I bet if he could, Zorn would hop on a balloon and fly far into the sky, away from all his troubles.
And now, Wizards links …
When Gilbert Arenas was asked how he reacted to Antawn Jamison getting injured against Cleveland, he said he thought Jamison had a “cramp.” Yea, riiiiight.
Brendan Haywood had a slightly different reaction:
Shortly after Antawn Jamison scurried to the training room with a right shoulder injury in Cleveland on Wednesday night, Brendan Haywood hopped up out his chair and ran through the tunnel to see him.
“Dag on right I went to go check on him,” Haywood said. “Antawn is a big part of what we do. You look at our team, there’s probably two guys on this team that can’t afford to go down. That’s myself and Antawn because there is not a lot of depth behind us.”
Who Erected Gilbert Arenas’ Platform?
Hold up. “We” erected the platform? No, actually, Gilbert Arenas erected his own platform by being so open, crazy, dramatic and whatnot. We might have dubbed him “Agent Zero,” but he was the one who dubbed his swag to be phenomenal, who nicknamed himself “hibachi,” who mocked Kobe Bryant by declaring he would shout “quality shot” after he shot. “We” may have asked him to blog for NBA.com, but it was him who decided to use it to make guarantees and talk about all-around weird stuff. I mean, other NBA players manage to blog on NBA.com without being so eccentric, surely it was possible to be funny and personable while not ruffling feathers.
The Math Behind Caron Butler
If you have LeBron, but you take away some of his volume, you get Butler. But by removing volume, the character of the player you’re left with is completely changed. So while Butler may be something like “LeBron x 85 percent,” just by decreasing the volume you’re almost removing LeBron from the equation. It’s a null result. So let’s think of it another way: instead of Butler as 85 percent of LeBron, let’s make LeBron a “Butler x 115 percent + !!!.”
And so here, Butler becomes the archetype for the modern small forward, the mascot for the lineage through the late Aughts. Gerald Wallace’s recipe is “Butler – 10 percent + suicide bomber style.” John Salmons is “Butler – 10 percent – style + beard + indecisiveness.” Hedo Turkoglu is “Butler – 20 percent + size + the benefit of New Eastern European Romanticism.” Even Ron Artest becomes a Caron Butler mutation (“Butler + crazy pills”).
Wizards Getting Serious?
It’s the middle of the preseason, and the Washington Wizards are crammed inside the tiny visitor’s locker room at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland. Tip-off is an hour away.
Forward Caron Butler is pacing the room and cracking jokes. Guard Mike Miller is laughing and eating a pregame meal in front of his locker. Guard DeShawn Stevenson is in the middle of the floor, dribbling a basketball between his legs and talking loudly to no one in particular.
The ball gets away from Stevenson and bounces toward a television monitor that‘s showing highlights of the Cavaliers‘ most recent game. I step in to save the day, snagging the ball with my left hand while sending a text with my right.
Nick Young Wants To Be Mike Miller
Nick Young started out pretty hot this preseason, scoring 20 points on 8-for-17 shooting (47 percent) the first two games. But in the past three preseason games, Young has missed 19 of his past 24 shots and scored just 15 points. Young hasn’t started since the preseason opener against Memphis and said he has struggled to find his rhythm coming off the bench. “It’s kind of hard,” Young said. “I’m trying to get it going like Mike [Miller] did. Every player goes through that. [Miller] got it going. I hope it’s my turn.”
- LeBron James serves as the NBA’s example of a traveling violation in the league’s video rulebook [NBA.com]
- “Arenas Plans to Shut Up and Play” [Mike Wise, Washington Post]
- A great analysis and tracking of statistics for the Wizards-Cavs game [Bullets Forever]
- “For Jordan, the past is present: As 76ers coach gets set to face former team, he opens up about his time with the Wizards” [Michael Lee, Washington Post]
- “Hawks eager for first peak at new-look Wizards” [Sekou Smith, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
- Brendan Haywood tied for D.C.’s 4th longest tenured athlete, Gilbert Arenas tied at 11th [Dan Steinberg, DC Sports Bog]
- “14 players in a new system: Randy Foye” [Mike Prada - Bullets Forever]
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