Gazo the Prankster just never made it to the big screen, or internet screen, or any screen. But you could certainly tell that the cartoon rendition of “Gazo” was modeled off the same blueprint as Gilbert Arenas.
On Friday, in the aftermath of the mythical Gazo the Prankster serving as a character witness for Arenas (via The Washington City Paper), the mold for the cartoon appeared in cartoon form … well actually, “illustrated” with some sort of art medium.
It’s not exactly the Gazo the Prankster kids might watch, but the courtroom sketches of Gilbert may be the closest we ever come to seeing him in cartoon form. Here they go.
Here, Arenas seems to be shrugging his shoulders, with a tinge of Alfred E. Neuman. The cartoon version of Judge Robert Morin seems to be an elder Keith Olbermann-looking kind of fellow, with perhaps a little bit of a perm up front.
Also almost lost amongst the fray is that the artist is named Bill Hennessy.
But since, according Arenas’ defense sentencing memo, you’re more likely to see him pushing a cart in Costco than the club, (although Gil did throw a million-dollar birthday party at Love, a D.C. nightclub set to “finally” reopen today after being shut down since a stabbing there on New Year’s Eve), Hennessy might be a more appropriate sketch artist for an Allen Iverson courtroom appearance.
In this next picture, Arenas’ attorney, Ken Wainstein, seems to be clapping his hands in some sort of manner. The other guy to the right, whom I’m assuming is the prosecutor, is gesturing his hand in the form of a karate chop that probably indicates he objects.
And finally we have our picture of Gil. Look, I applaud the quick craftsmanship of Mr. Hennessy, but that does not look like Mr. Arenas. It looks like someone, I just can’t put my finger on who.
Maybe Charlie Bell of the Milwaukee Bucks? … as site photographer Adam Douglas suggested.
Worth noting …
Some people have thought NBA commissioner David Stern to be a tad irrational in suspending Arenas indefinitely on January 6, 2010. Of course, much criticism of Stern goes off the fact that the decision seemed to be a personal reaction to Finger Guns, and perhaps to Gilbert calling him a “mean man.”
When the many and constantly changing “tales” of Arenas, Gilbertology if you will, publicly surfaced, showing that Arenas “adjusted” his story multiple times before January 6, it’s safe to assume that Stern was aware the whole time of how the Wizards guard, with a history of revising the facts for his own benefit, could not get his story straight.
The suspension for spitting in Stern’s face via Finger Guns was on top of all the untruthful B.S., further justifying the acts of the Commish.
As I’ve previously written, I’m glad Arenas will not have to spend time in jail, but that doesn’t mean he should get away scot-free. Answers, and change, should still be demanded from him.
The lies and massaging of reality needs to stop. Gilbert Arenas must put Gilbertology to death.