Plenty of professional athletes pull pranks. Plenty of regular people pull pranks. Gilbert Arenas didn’t invent the prank, he just was, perhaps, the best at it — the most prolific … because he’s a professional athlete.
Arenas’ varied pranks are infamous, and for a recent spell due to a horribly failed prank with guns that wasn’t really a prank, they became blemishes open for all armchair psychologists to analyze to their core, from a distance.
And then there’s pooping in someone’s shoe, an act that added a somber twist to Arenas’ locker room gun affair and his history of egregiousness excused by a franchise. Or in the least, it was Gilbert’s most memorable prank, which went from the punchline of comical stories among those in the know to something that was used to further indict Arenas’ character.
The proper term, kids, is defecation … in verb form: to defecate. And it was first properly used in reference to Arenas and victim, Andray Blatche, by Mike Wise and Michael Lee of the Washington Post in January 2010:
“Former Wizards coach Eddie Jordan and his staff privately intimated they felt undermined by Grunfeld when it came to matters of discipline with Arenas. Arenas, a notorious practical joker, often crossed the line of acceptable decorum. The example often cited was how Arenas once defecated in teammate Andray Blatche’s shoe during Blatche’s rookie season. His behavior often went unchecked and unpunished, said a former team employee on condition of anonymity.”
Early 2010 Internet yuks and blogging gold were the mostly innocent results of the newly divulged information about an act that occurred in 2005/06. And then the story remained relevantly dormant and unmentioned by all parties involved and aware … until recently.
Speaking to the media in the Big Apple after his season debut against the New York Knicks last Friday, Arenas made mention of ‘The Incident: a shoe, a poop, a story,’ which was conveyed by Chris Mannix in Sports Illustrated (quoted via Dan Steinberg’s DC Sports Bog):
“I understand what people think because of the perception of me. They read the funny stuff, like me taking a crap in [teammate] Andray Blatche’s shoes. But nobody is going to ask what Andray did to deserve it. You read about it because that’s when I’m at my goofiest, when I’m around my teammates. I don’t get in trouble outside of this building. You are not going to catch me drinking and driving, or picking up prostitutes. People don’t see what my teammates see, the guy who is in here three times a day working out. That’s the guy they don’t see.”
Why not be that nobody?
It was the last question of the night after the Wizards’ win over the Rockets, yet clearly the first one I’m writing about. Please don’t hold it against me, but the situation called for a back story. Here that story is, what Andray did to deserve ‘it’, straight from the horse’s mouth.