What An 0-9 Road Start Looks Like: Wizards-Raptors, A Screen Shot Revue
“I feel like I’ve been blindsided by Brian Orakpo. I mean, that was just … wow.”
-Wizards television commentator Steve Buckhantz after witnessing a first half of basketball in which the Wizards allowed 44 points in the paint, and let Toronto shoot 67% en route to a 72-52 lead after 24 minutes. The Raptors ultimately prevailed 127-108.
Let’s take a look at a screen-shot depiction of the fun, shall we?
There’s no place like home, evidently … especially when the Wizards play defense like Dorothy.
Oh, and these are the red shoes Gilbert Arenas wore against the Raptors for World AIDS Week.
This is the face rapper Drake makes when the Wizards lead games 4-2 in Canada before getting blown out. Seems typical. Lemons.
I remember when the blog “Hipster Runoff” referred to Drake as, “Barry Obama’s half-white son ‘Jeff Obama’” — that always gives me a chuckle.
Raptors coach Jay Triano muttering something to himself early in the game
… that’s his secret recipe for success.
Here, Andray Blatche looks closer to a creeper trying to goose a girl on the subway or in a bar than an NBA player trying to play defense.
Hello John Wall, would you like some smelling salt for the blowout loss that’s in the works for you? What about you Flip?
“Goddamn sonofabitch!” [said in the most monotone way possible] “Andray Blatche is the absolute worst on defense. The, Worst. — He’s right behind me, isn’t he?” -Kirk Hinrich
“You could certainly see the frustration on [Arenas’] face with every offensive or defensive breakdown. He and Kirk Hinrich looked bobblehead dolls the way they spent so much time shaking their heads during the game.” -Michael Lee, Washington Post
You know you’re screwed when these are your first half faces.
Duuuuuurrrrrr …. ~PEJA!~
No caption needed.
“Arenas had a difficult shooting night, as he missed 9 of 10 shots and was heckled by a group of Raptors fans who made reference to his gun suspension every time he went to the foul line by chanting, “Don’t shoot!”” -Michael Lee, Washington Post
Oh those Canadians … what a bunch of John Candys. Below is what I’ve deduced to be Gilbert’s reaction to the heckling.
How used to scenes like this should Wizards fans get?
Coaching a wall (not John).
The opposite of “My Precious”
Also, that score is beyond wrong — but even Comcast’s wishful thinking seems to still have the Wizards losing.
- Key Legislature: Wizards 121 vs Nets 103 — Without Wall, Washington Weathers Storm
- Crossed Up and Shot Down in LA — Wizards at Clippers, DC Council 77
- Key Legislature: Wizards 109 at Clippers 114 — California Dreaming of Fat Ladies Singing
- Key Legislature: Wizards 106 at Suns 99 — Making Good on Meaningless Promises