Time To #ReFollowNBA? A Washington Wizards Checklist
Time to #ReFollowNBA?
Well, not so fast. Both sides have to vote on the deal. And you know what happens when people start voting…
Nonetheless, here’s a checklist of things the Washington Wizards should starting doing, as it pertains to their current(ish) players, STAT! In terms of free agency? Well, there will be plenty of little time to discuss that. GO FORTH NBA!
Find Andray Blatche.
Not sure where he is, how he is doing, and if he was continuing to workout in Miami as it looked like the reality of a season was falling apart (in addition to handing out turkeys). But somebody find Blatche, quickly. I’m assuming you will need to following: a hose, several scrub brushes with long handles, industrial strength anti-bacterial body wash, some Asian flu masks, and probably a team of scientists.
Have you rested at all this summer? Training camp could be less than two weeks away (give or take, tentatively scheduled to start December 9th), and rumor has it that your groin has been bothering you.
You’ve been Tweeting about hating to sleep alone (something to do with the new Drizzy Drake album, I believe), followed by pictures of you and your puppy (Awww! How cute!). But we can only imagine these acts are toward the goal of wooing the ladies… And we can only imagine that now the ladies will command much, much less of your attention. It’s time to start living and breathing basketball more than you’ve imagined that you’ve been doing. You are the leader, motor and motivator of this Wizards team. A lot is on your shoulders, but we couldn’t imagine the situation being more ideal.
McGee is undoubtedly the biggest “IF” on the Washington roster. Does he care as much about basketball as, say, a John Wall? The answer is clearly no, but we all would hope for a progression toward that. It’s just that McGee hasn’t done much to instill confidence that he’s ready to truly mature and start listening to coaches. When it comes to McGee and the impending ending lockout, I might be most concerned for Wizards assistant Randy Wittman. I hope his health is in order and his stress is controlled.
Nick Young’s Hair.
One assumption is that Nick was growing “lockout hair” and recently got some “lockout braids” done for “half price on Black Friday“… and that this isn’t a Samson situation. Well, all that might have to come to an end now. Hope Ted Leonsis has some rubber gloves and a medicine kit for head lice. All this, of course, if the Wizards are able to sign Young as a restricted free agent.
80-percent of the time no one has any idea of what you are talking about on Twitter. Here’s one:
“Some good cook food and nice clean drawers by a Bad Immigrant!”
“It was some Fish in Tin Fish! I dig no I DIG”
And you know what? None of that matters… As long as Crawford slightly improves toward his preposterous/sarcastic goal of being better than Michael Jordan, and as long as he’s ready to stand by Blatche’s side in a battle against Kevin Garnett. Note: At this point of Garnett’s deteriorating physique, the duo might want to seriously load up the Uzis, get a couple of M-16s, couple of nines, couple of joints with some silencers on them, couple of grenades, got a missile launcher.
Can wait to see you in the 2012 dunk contest wearing an entire outfit that’s like this shirt. Kiss the Czech Republic good-bye (as only you can), and make your way to the U.S. of A.!!!
You recently Tweeted:
“Id like to think my bday is good luck”
And we will definitely go with that, also wishing luck to the injuries (broken foot) that caused you to miss the end of last season, and the bruised right quad that prevented you from playing in Israel. Also, you share a November 25 birthday with former Wizard Jared Jeffries, competitive eater Joey Chestnut, George W. Bush’s daughters Jenna and Barbara, Donovan McNabb… this is not good company. But also, there’s Christina Applegate, who’s still smoking hot at 40. So there is redemption for your born day. Now get healthy and ready to go #CookBook on some fools.
Bonjour! You’ve probably developed the most this summer via playing for Caja Laboral in Spain. Hopefully it’s paid off. Now get ready to rebound, defend and set some devastating picks. The Wizards will really need your size.
People aren’t sleeping on how good a defender you have the potential to be, but I do think they are sleeping on how much your warrior-like mentality will have an affect on the rest of the team as a whole. The top five rank of Wizards I’m looking forward to watching now that the lockout is over: 1) John Wall, 2) Jan Vesely, 3) Chris Singleton, 4) Trevor Booker, 5) Jordan Crawford.
Amnesty clause… How u
You likely will get paid a nice amount of your remaining contract while getting to choose where you’ll chase a title for pennies on the dollar. You are a professional guy and probably deserve it. Good luck.
[UPDATE: Per this post by Mike Prada on Bullets Forever, we're likely to see Rashard Lewis in a Wizards uniform next season, which isn't such a bad thing.]
Mo Evans, Yi Jianlian & Josh Howard.
We know, as unrestricted free agents, that none of you will be back. And that’s okay… although Evans and Howard would be welcomed back (Evans more than Howard), I just can’t see it happening… unless the new CBA for some reason leaves them out in the cold in terms of free agency, forcing them to settle for the most recent place of comfort.
Hamady Ndiaye, Othyus Jeffers & Larry Owens.
Restricted Free Agents: Hamady, we hope that your positive attitude is back. Othyus… damn. As Michael Lee says, the timing of this whole lockout resolution probably hurts you the most. We can only hope for the best in the future. Larry? Um… We’ll see, I guess.
You Tweet “Think Positive……” pretty much everyday. And we’re going to keep going with that.