Time To #ReFollowNBA? A Washington Wizards Checklist | Truth About It.net

Time To #ReFollowNBA? A Washington Wizards Checklist

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Updated: November 26, 2011

Time to #ReFollowNBA?

Well, not so fast. Both sides have to vote on the deal. And you know what happens when people start voting…

Nonetheless, here’s a checklist of things the Washington Wizards should starting doing, as it pertains to their current(ish) players, STAT! In terms of free agency? Well, there will be plenty of little time to discuss that. GO FORTH NBA!

Find Andray Blatche.

Not sure where he is, how he is doing, and if he was continuing to workout in Miami as it looked like the reality of a season was falling apart (in addition to handing out turkeys). But somebody find Blatche, quickly. I’m assuming you will need to following: a hose, several scrub brushes with long handles, industrial strength anti-bacterial body wash, some Asian flu masks, and probably a team of scientists.

John Wall.

Have you rested at all this summer? Training camp could be less than two weeks away (give or take, tentatively scheduled to start December 9th), and rumor has it that your groin has been bothering you.

You’ve been Tweeting about hating to sleep alone (something to do with the new Drizzy Drake album, I believe), followed by pictures of you and your puppy (Awww! How cute!). But we can only imagine these acts are toward the goal of wooing the ladies… And we can only imagine that now the ladies will command much, much less of your attention. It’s time to start living and breathing basketball more than you’ve imagined that you’ve been doing. You are the leader, motor and motivator of this Wizards team. A lot is on your shoulders, but we couldn’t imagine the situation being more ideal.

JaVale McGee?

McGee is undoubtedly the biggest “IF” on the Washington roster. Does he care as much about basketball as, say, a John Wall? The answer is clearly no, but we all would hope for a progression toward that. It’s just that McGee hasn’t done much to instill confidence that he’s ready to truly mature and start listening to coaches. When it comes to McGee and the impending ending lockout, I might be most concerned for Wizards assistant Randy Wittman. I hope his health is in order and his stress is controlled.

Nick Young’s Hair.

One assumption is that Nick was growing “lockout hair” and recently got some “lockout braids” done for “half price on Black Friday“… and that this isn’t a Samson situation. Well, all that might have to come to an end now. Hope Ted Leonsis has some rubber gloves and a medicine kit for head lice. All this, of course, if the Wizards are able to sign Young as a restricted free agent.

Jordan Crawford.

80-percent of the time no one has any idea of what you are talking about on Twitter. Here’s one:

“Some good cook food and nice clean drawers by a Bad Immigrant!”

Here’s another:

“It was some Fish in Tin Fish! I dig no I DIG”

And you know what? None of that matters… As long as Crawford slightly improves toward his preposterous/sarcastic goal of being better than Michael Jordan, and as long as he’s ready to stand by Blatche’s side in a battle against Kevin Garnett. Note: At this point of Garnett’s deteriorating physique, the duo might want to seriously load up the Uzis, get a couple of M-16s, couple of nines, couple of joints with some silencers on them, couple of grenades, got a missile launcher.

JAN VESELY!

Can wait to see you in the 2012 dunk contest wearing an entire outfit that’s like this shirt. Kiss the Czech Republic good-bye (as only you can), and make your way to the U.S. of A.!!!

Trevor Booker.

You recently Tweeted:

“Id like to think my bday is good luck”

And we will definitely go with that, also wishing luck to the injuries (broken foot) that caused you to miss the end of last season, and the bruised right quad that prevented you from playing in Israel. Also, you share a November 25 birthday with former Wizard Jared Jeffries, competitive eater Joey Chestnut, George W. Bush’s daughters Jenna and Barbara, Donovan McNabb… this is not good company. But also, there’s Christina Applegate, who’s still smoking hot at 40. So there is redemption for your born day. Now get healthy and ready to go #CookBook on some fools.

Kevin Seraphin.

Bonjour! You’ve probably developed the most this summer via playing for Caja Laboral in Spain. Hopefully it’s paid off. Now get ready to rebound, defend and set some devastating picks. The Wizards will really need your size.

Chris Singleton.

People aren’t sleeping on how good a defender you have the potential to be, but I do think they are sleeping on how much your warrior-like mentality will have an affect on the rest of the team as a whole. The top five rank of Wizards I’m looking forward to watching now that the lockout is over: 1) John Wall, 2) Jan Vesely, 3) Chris Singleton, 4) Trevor Booker, 5) Jordan Crawford.

Rashard Lewis.

Amnesty clause… How u

You likely will get paid a nice amount of your remaining contract while getting to choose where you’ll chase a title for pennies on the dollar. You are a professional guy and probably deserve it. Good luck.

[UPDATE: Per this post by Mike Prada on Bullets Forever, we're likely to see Rashard Lewis in a Wizards uniform next season, which isn't such a bad thing.]

Mo Evans, Yi Jianlian & Josh Howard.

We know, as unrestricted free agents, that none of you will be back. And that’s okay… although Evans and Howard would be welcomed back (Evans more than Howard), I just can’t see it happening… unless the new CBA for some reason leaves them out in the cold in terms of free agency, forcing them to settle for the most recent place of comfort.

Hamady Ndiaye, Othyus Jeffers & Larry Owens.

Restricted Free Agents: Hamady, we hope that your positive attitude is back. Othyus… damn. As Michael Lee says, the timing of this whole lockout resolution probably hurts you the most. We can only hope for the best in the future. Larry? Um… We’ll see, I guess.

Shelvin Mack.

You Tweet “Think Positive……” pretty much everyday. And we’re going to keep going with that.

 


6 Comments

  1. TomD

    November 28, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    There is nothing quite as bad as terrible attempt at humor. This was really bad, Kyle.
    Do you really want to know what Andray Blatche has been up to during the lockout? He has been working out daily with a trainer and he has been actively engaged in the philanthropic efforts of his foundation. Check http://www.andrayblatchefoundation.com if you really want to know thetruthaboutit.

  2. Kyle Weidie

    November 29, 2011 at 10:05 am

    I hear ya man. I do tend to pick on Blatche. The joke was about scrubbing the summer rust off and gettig him ready for real basketball — the charity work he’s done this summer notwithstanding. And speaking of that, I think it’s great and all, but the onus is still on Blatche to prove himself on the court … to prove that he no longer wants to be a club head, that he no longer wants to fight teammates at clubs, that he no longer wants to show subordination toward his coach, that he no longer wants to be lazy on the simplest of things such as boxing out.

    Again, what he’s done this summer is great, but how do I know that’s not mostly the result of him getting an agent and the PR efforts surrounding such? I don’t want to be such a pessimist when it comes to Blatche (well, maybe I do… because sometimes I’m a pessimist, or sarcastic in general … because it suits me)… Maybe it’s not right and maybe I need to reflect on my own ways.

    So, I’m sorry if it’s seen as bad humor, but trust me, if Blatche starts turning it around, I’m the type who will eat my crow and will be one of the first to laud his efforts since I’ve criticized him the harshest.

  3. AO

    November 30, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    Kyle, I’m 100% with you on Blatche. I, on the other hand, do not share you’re hope for him being able to turn it around and shape up.

    Guy is a lost cause. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks. This will be his 7th year in the league!!

    #1 on my Wizards offseason list (which will be 2 weeks of pure insanity for the whole league) is to ship Blatche out of town. The time will never be riper, with his stats seeing a solid rise over the last couple years. Anyone who watches the Zards consistently knows that Blatche just doesn’t bring the intangibles. He’s lazy, makes stupid mistakes, doesn’t understand flow (i.e. if he makes 2 shots in a row, there’s a 110% chance he’s shooting the 3rd time down the floor), and he just generally seems to care more about himself than the team. He embodies the opposite of what our cornerstone (JW) stands for (passion, effort, win at all costs, moving your body fast, etc).

    Also, why not make a big run at Nene? We’ve got only 20 mil or so committed next year and under the new CBA have to spend at least 85% of the cap. Give me the big Brazilian!!

  4. TomD

    November 30, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    Fair enough. But, I’ll bet a nickle that you still won’t post good articles about Blatches no matter what he does.

  5. Kyle Weidie

    November 30, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    AO, I’d almost rather Marc Gasol than Nene.

    TomD — he’s a positive post I once wrote about Blatche.

    http://www.truthaboutit.net/2011/04/whats-the-difference-in-andray-blatche.html

    There are others, such as:

    http://www.truthaboutit.net/2009/10/andray-blatche-continues-down-the-development-path.html

    I’ll give you that they’ve been far and few between, but I can’t completely blame myself for that.

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