[D.C. Council: setting the scene, rating the starters, assessing the subs, providing the analysis, and catching anything that you may have missed. Unlike the real DC Council, everything here is on the table. Game No. 21, your Washington Wizards vs. the Heat in Miami; contributors: John Converse Townsend and Kyle Weidie from the other side of the boob tube.]

The Bill: Washington Wizards DC Council

A coach trying to avoid
an amber alert with his players…

Washington Wizards 72 at Miami Heat 102 [box score]

MVP: Pat Riley.

Stat of the Game: 21 Wizards turnovers led to 30 Miami points, which was the difference in the game, amongst other things. 21 turnovers was also a season-high for the Wizards and 11 more than their second-lowest output of 2012-13 — the Wiz only committed 10 TO’s the last time they played, and beat, the Heat.

—Kyle Weidie (@Truth_About_It)
Key Legislature: Washington Wizards DC Council

Taped Delay.

Yes. It is so desperate that you’ve come across an actual Washington Wizards blog that will attempt to pin-point the exact moment at which ye olde Wizards lost a 30-point blowout to the Heat in Miami. Guess what. It happened when they walked into the gym. {Snickers}

But, honestly, what I saw of the game wasn’t ‘that’ bad. OK, it was terrible. And I only saw three quarters (plus 20% of the fourth quarter). Yep, that’s all I watched.

I would’ve gone back to watch the entire game in my quest to avoid life in lieu of working ‘work, work’ till 3 a.m. on last Sunday night to finish watching the game on Monday night, but alas, the blasted fiancee taped over the game. She took the opportunity to blow up my phone to the tune of six missed calls while I was out for a convoy of holiday drinks with a niche set of co-workers on Monday. What’s THE deal? I immediately called her, not realizing my phone had been on dead silent (work reasons).

She really, really, really wanted to double-check if it was cool to erase the Wizards-Heat game from the DVR so that she could record one of her “stories.” You guessed it: Gossip Girl. And who am I to complain if that future wifey of mine, four years behind me in age, is interested in a show fourteen years behind her in age?

Nope, I can’t argue one bit. Because as much as we’ve had the debate over her junk reality television versus the glory of unscripted sports, I got no ground to stand on.

I watch the Washington Wizards.

Plus, she gets the gold star for simply checking on erasing a 30-point Wizards blowout.

Oh yea, they lost the game on Saturday night before the ref even licked his whistle… or something like that.

—Kyle Weidie (@Truth_About_It)
Council Members: Washington Wizards DC Council
Rating five Wizards starters & two key subs on a three-star scale.
Jordan Crawford
You damn right I took involved notes about the three-plus quarters of this game that I watched. Usually I’m on Twitter, too, but this time it was an inconvenient truth, and I had to watch the Wizards on delay. Here are some those notes as they pertain to Jordan Crawford (edited and paraphrased in some instances):

  • It’d be a decent shot if he were a shooter.
  • Crawford just watches Haslem go for an offensive board. Does Haslem have steez? Detroit vs. Miami steez must be the best/worst.

Also, these are two comments that I typed which did not mention Crawford’s name, but they’re included now for posterity:

  • broken plays 4 wizards. director? nope.
  • wow… another bad turnover… they look like kid trying to put a square in a round hole.

Note: I can’t vouch for the accuracy of these notes. I can vouch for the fact that Crawford went 2-for-12 from the field, had six assists and six turnovers. That’s how it sometimes go?

—Kyle Weidie (@Truth_About_It)

1 out of 3 stars
Bradley Beal
Here we go again. He’s 19. And we’re all glad age means that the current inefficiencies of Beal’s game will somehow improve in the future. It’s true. I believe that. Also, he’s been getting better. But, at the same time, is Bradley Beal now lowering his ceiling?

Answer: we don’t know. Scientists also point to the fact that no one really knows what a ceiling is. Evidently, some are made of glass. Where does Beal lie? 6-for-18 from the field, 19 points, 2-for-6 from 3, 5-for-6 from the FT line, three rebounds, zero assists, one steal, and three turnovers in almost 38 minutes. Also, a team-worst minus-38 in plus/minus. Look, no one is going to blame Beal for this rather bad Wizards season. These things happen. Tough lessons, kid. Remember that time you had the ball in your hands coming off a screen and you let the Heat defender hedge you further away from the basket to the point where you couldn’t even make a pass? Yea, remember that.

Beal is doing some very good things, don’t get me wrong. But the little things he doesn’t do are what I want to see more of. Because little things are a synonym for mental game slippage. Little things are why losers remain losers. And when you play for the Washington Wizards… {dead horses}

—Kyle Weidie (@Truth_About_It)

1.5 out of 3 stars
Martell Webster
Talk about an ominous start. Webster got beat just seconds after the tip by LeBron James—a sweet baseline spin move from the NBA’s best player led to an easy hoop, plus the harm. Then a missed dunk, an early unforced turnover via travel and 1-for-5 shooting from the field in the first quarter summed up Webster’s night: ba-a-a-ad.

—John Converse Townsend (@JohnCTownsend)

0 out of 3 stars
Chris Singleton
The Heat love to play small ball, so it was a bit disappointing to see Singleton spending so much time behind the 3-point line. (He’s shooting just over 14 percent from deep this year.) But running the offense through him in the post, or even on the wing, isn’t a realistic option anyway … so, here we are, fighting the numbers. Seven points, six boards and two steals (including one he took to the house for a dunk) were the positive takeaways from Singleton’s 30 minutes in Miami. Damn, I think Haslem just hit another jumper.

—John Converse Townsend (@JohnCTownsend)

0.5 out of 3 stars
Emeka Okafor
If you like seeing the pick-and-roll on the menu, then this was your night. Until you had to sit through it. Okafor was typically one of the two biggest players on the floor, and, at times, he made that advantage work for him. He finished with double-digit rebounds (for just the third time this season), pulling down a team-high 10. And he was aggressive attacking the rim away from the ball, but unsure hands from the big man seemed to lead to turnovers more often than points, whether because of a quick double-team from Miami’s pressing defense, or simply because in traffic Okafor would fumble the rock out of bounds. He finished with eight points in eight attempts in 23 minutes, but should have done more.

—John Converse Townsend (@JohnCTownsend)

1 out of 3 stars
Jan Vesely
If this team were any good, then Jan Vesely’s spastic nature off the bench would be heart-warming, like a draft-night smooch. Instead, an old man with hair growing out of his ears is tonguing your ear while you’re asleep on the Metro after a drunken night of watching a Wizards game in Chinatown, and you just woke up.

Otherwise, Vesely got a dunk, I’m pretty sure of it.

Shit, both Townsend and I are about to write about Vesely, aren’t we?

—Kyle Weidie (@Truth_About_It)

Czech out of 3 stars
Jan Vesely
Basketball fans spotted Airwolf Jan Vesely circling the paint in Miami on Saturday night. It was the second Airwolf sighting this month—he’s all but disappeared since Wittman trimmed his rotation and relegated the former lottery pick to the bench. So what’d Vesely do? He hustled. He hustled hard. After slipping a screen for Crawford, he wheeled baseline for an easy dunk off a lefty bounce pass from the guard. On the next possession, on the break after a steal, Vesely found himself on the right block, thinking about going to work against Shane Battier. But when Mike Miller threatened to double, the 7-footer whipped a pass to Cartier Martin who made his second 3-pointer of the night. That was quality, but he spent much of his 16 minutes drifting. Fresh legs, raw game.

—John Converse Townsend (@JohnCTownsend)

0.5 out of 3 stars
The Mayor: Washington Wizards DC Council

This coach will not stop coaching.

And that is why Witt gets respect. But also, #WittmanFace=#WizardsNation.

It’s pretty simply math, if you look into it. It’s actually behind the Google algorithm.
Adjourned: Washington Wizards DC Council

 

Later.