Photoshop Friday: Mr. Glass, the Washington Wizard
It’s #PhotoshopFriday ’round these here parts. That means silliness and probably making fun of someone (but in a good fun, roasting type of way) with a created and morphed image.
Today’s Photoshop Friday star is the recently returned Nene. After getting hurt in the very first game of the season (which was too typical to be typical), and missing the next two games, Nene made a triumphant return to the court on Wednesday in a Wizards win over the 76ers in Philadelphia.
Frustrations surrounding Wizards Nation and basketball injuries are understandable. But often—good to keep in mind—players are much more frustrated over injuries than fans. With Nene, however, we’re not always so sure that’s the case. Certainly the big Brazilian wants to be the helpful, heroic diva, but it seems from outside of the locks and coy smiles that frustration is not always a factor, but rather calling attention to self-preservation is.
Nonetheless, the former Mr. Hilario probably means well—and we certainly like to think that we mean well—but with that said, Nene is totally Elijah Price, aka “Mr. Glass” from the M. Night Shyamalan film Unbreakable. Yes, this photoshop’d association is probably not totally original … but that hair!
Also … not that making light of Nene’s day-to-day status on most all days (that end in ‘y’) diffuses any angst, but we have to understand that it’s well-placed angst. Nene is perhaps the No. 1 factor in Washington’s ability to make the playoffs this season. Certainly the Wizards might have a chance of backing into one of the final playoff seeds in a weak and uncertain Eastern Conference without Nene, but not likely.
Nene hasn’t traditionally been a stat-stuffer, but he’s long been one of the top producers in the NBA when it comes to more advanced statistics, such as plus/minus or how many rebounds his team is able to snag due to his mere presence, i.e., Nene boxing out his man.
Consider these early-season, small sample size, but totally relevant and indicative examples (via NBA.com/stats):
- The Wizards have played 192 floor-time minutes on the season. Nene has been involved for 60 of those minutes.
- During Nene’s time on the floor, the Wizards score 12.7 more points per 48 minutes (team average: 103.3; with Nene: 116.0)
- In all minutes, Washington is shooting 43.5 percent from the floor and 43 percent from 3-point land. During Nene’s minutes, team FG% jumps to 49.1 percent and the 3P% to 51.4 percent.
Again, a very minor sample, but the numbers are still astounding and speak greatly to the Nene effect.
In Unbreakable, Mr. Glass was certain that someone existed in the opposite of his extreme. So, somewhere out there is a center (no, no, NO! … not a 5, but a 4!!)—excuse me, “power forward”—who has a rather negligible affect on the game’s events but is rather durable. For now, we shall call him Kevin Seraphin. Unfortunately, Snakey is no Bruce Willis (or David Dunn).
Stay vigilant, stay healthy, stay #SoWizards.
Happy Photoshop Friday.
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- Select Cuts from the Polish Hammer (Before He Met the ‘Biggest Hero’ of His Life: Steven Seagal)
- Time is a Flat Circle — Ernie Grunfeld as the Yellow King
- Richard Jefferson on Gilbert Arenas, Just Because