Photoshop Friday: Nene the Redeemer Gets His Prayers Answered
Nene is pretty important to Washington’s success, and that’s clearly an understatement. Unfortunately, he started the season out in very #SoWizards fashion, hurting the calf muscle in one of his legs during the very first game of the season while performing a jump shot. Nene then missed the next two games and the Wizards lost both, starting the year with an 0-3 record. With Nene back on the court, the Wizards won their next two games over Philadelphia and Brooklyn. In the second win, Nene barely rose off the ground to block a close attempt by Kevin Garnett, who also barely rose off the ground. This electrified the Verizon Center crowd like Reverend Cleophus James at the Triple Rock Baptist Church in Chicago. After the game, Nene was asked what allowed him to block Garnett. His answer: the Holy Spirit.
Near the end of regulation in that contest against the Nets, Nene was again somehow able to propel his feet from the hardwood to tip the sphere through the rim, sending the game into overtime purgatory during which the Wizards were able to ascend to victory. #Pray4Nene thus became a real movement. And going back to review that specific play, you can see ‘His’ presence, clear as day—Christ the Redeemer, famed statue in Brazil, sitting sidelines on Brooklyn’s bench, right between Reggie Evans and Andray Blatche, and using his powers for the good of the men in red and white and not for the darker forces in black.
But alas, God can’t watch every Washington Wizards game. He’s got other sporting events to attend to—he continues to answer prayers from San Antonio to Indiana, but those Mormons in Utah get no love, the Jazz are currently 1-12. The Wizards, even with the power of Nene, went on to lose the next four games after that Brooklyn tip. Nene’s next issue: charity.
With Washington sporting a 2-7 record, the Brazilian was shooting a horrendous 28-for-49 (57%) from the free throw line. Against Thunder in Oklahoma City (4-for-10) and at home against Cleveland (6-for-9) specifically, Nene’s misses from the line might have cost his team a chance to win. Countrymen back in Brazil, who booed Nene during a preseason game in their land earlier this year because Nene did not suit up for his country to play in the 2013 FIBA Americas tournament, criticized Nene heavily for the freebie misses, he would later reveal.
But since, Nene of course prayed on it. He prays on everything. He prays on the prayers of other Wizards for cereal. It’s that serious. And those prayers have been answered. Over Washington’s recent two-game winning streak (not really a streak), Nene has gone 10-for-10 from the Lord’s charity stripe, boosting his percentage from there to 65.4.
In Cleveland Rock City last Wednesday, the Cavaliers, via someone else’s prayers, closed in on the Wizards from a 27-point deficit. But Washington was able to stave off their sins by going 10-for-10 from the free throw line in last three minutes. Preacher Nene went 4-for-4 on his own, rolling one big attempt in, out, and back in again (that Lord, he’s a trickster). Going back to review the video, and slowing it down to screen shot form, again revealed the presence of Christ the Redeemer, at one moment peering out of Nene’s hair locks and the next standing baseline against the basket stanchion to ensure that his pro basketball bidding was done.
So keep pointing to the Lord, praising the Holy Spirit and other ghosts as necessary, and hashtag the hell out of your efforts on Twitter.
Next Up on the Prayer Express: Otto Porter, he wears his suits with the top shirt button buttoned and no tie like Rain Man. Ideally, he does not have to wear a suit while watching the Wizards at all. #Pray4Otto
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