#WittmanFace Wednesday: Still Life with Randy | Truth About It.net

#WittmanFace Wednesday: Still Life with Randy

By
Updated: February 5, 2014

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[original image from Wizards-Blazers post-game via @WizardsXTRA]

Randy Wittman is a man of many faces, several words, and a wooden, splintered paddle-to-ass philosophy. He stumbled into a rebuilding project in Washington perhaps as perfect for the job as he is flawed. He loves the game of basketball, there’s coaching dirt under his nails, and as a pro, he must eat excrement for the franchise like a press secretary does for the president.

The last time Randy Wittman, as an NBA head coach, lead an above-.500 team in a win came when his Cleveland Cavaliers beat the New Jersey Nets on January 8, 2001, just over 13 years ago. Bradley Beal was seven.

The 92-90 win pushed the Cavaliers to 17-15. The collection of Randy’s soldiers that day: Andre Miller, Jim Jackson, Lamond Murray, Clarence Weatherspoon, and Chris Gatling started; Trajan Langdon, Robert ‘Tractor” Traylor, and Anthony Johnson came off the bench. Cleveland then lost three games in a row, twice got back to .500 at 18-18 and 20-20, but never again was a winning team, finishing the 2000-01 season with a 30-52 record.

So in honor of Randy Wittman becoming a winner for the first time since the month that AOL and Time-Warner merged, Wikipedia launched, and George W. Bush was sworn into office as President of the United States—boy the world has changed since—TAIs’ Kyle Weidie (@Truth_About_It) and Conor Dirks (@ConorDDirks) present…

Reflections of Randy Wittman:
an internal dialogue transposed onto still pixelry.

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[@Truth_About_It]

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[@ConorDDirks]

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[@ConorDDirks]

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[@Truth_About_It]

What is #WittmanJava?

Well, way back on January 17, 2014, in Wittman’s post-game press conference, Washington’s disciplinarian-in-chief made a surprising disclosure. In days of yore, when he was a player, he used to consume the finely ground beans of coffea arabica, filtered into liquid java, at halftime. You never saw Randy loafing about in the third quarter. And now, he says, maybe the Wizards should have access to the same tarry caffeinated beverage that had him grinding his teeth as an Atlanta Hawk.  Or maybe they should have Red Bulls. But mostly: #WittmanJava.

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[@ConorDDirks]

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[@Truth_About_It]

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[@ConorDDirks]

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[@Truth_About_It]

It will not surprise you to learn that “end of story” is a favorite of Coach Wittman.

Uses: ending the story; ending a reluctantly granted answer; ending a question that hints at a narrative that Randy is just ******* sick of talking about.

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[@Truth_About_It]

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[@ConorDDirks]


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