Posts for category ‘gilbertology’

Gazo the Prankster just never made it to the big screen, or internet screen, or any screen. But you could certainly tell that the cartoon rendition of “Gazo” was modeled off the same blueprint as Gilbert Arenas.

On Friday, in the aftermath of the mythical Gazo the Prankster serving as a character witness for Arenas (via The Washington City Paper), the mold for the cartoon appeared in cartoon form … well actually, “illustrated” with some sort of art medium.

It’s not exactly the Gazo the Prankster kids might watch, but the courtroom sketches of Gilbert may be the closest we ever come to seeing him in cartoon form. Here they go.

Here, Arenas seems to be shrugging his shoulders, with a tinge of Alfred E. Neuman. The cartoon version of Judge Robert Morin seems to be an elder Keith Olbermann-looking kind of fellow, with perhaps a little bit of a perm up front.

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As the Post’s Michael Lee reported before the game, Gilbert Arenas has filed paper work to change his jersey number from #0 to #6, and the NBA has given its approval.

What does it all mean? The death of Agent Zero? The birth of Agent Six? With Gilbert, who knows. What we do know is that a current Washington Wizard wears #6, and that would be Mike Miller, who probably had to file paper work himself.

Miller was asked about the number change after the game. {more below the jump}

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I’ve been writing this blog about the Washington Wizards since October 2007 and this year I’ve been able to cover the team more up close because of media credentials granted by the team’s PR department. Some may sympathetically say, ‘What a year to start covering the team.’ True, in more ways than one.

As a fan, this season has been nothing short of a tragedy. As a person, this has been one of the most sadly interesting experiences I’ve ever had … and I wouldn’t trade it for much (Well, aside from a million dollars and an NBA title to D.C.).

There’s been some light moments, some dark moments, and everything in between. And I’m just talking about Gilbert Arenas … you know, the “So goes Gil, so goes the Wizards” guy. Now that a suspension for the rest of the season has been officially handed down by David Stern, it would be a good time to dig into the archive and provide the best of Gilbert quotes, Gilbertology if you will, for the 2009-10 season.

As I compose this post, and after just listening to Gilbert Arenas’ father on the Mike Wise Show, this situation still wreaks with sadness, and probably will for quite some time. Not so much because a huge, unfortunate joke has been played on Wizards fans, but because I still don’t get the feeling that Arenas understands the remorse aspect of this case.

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It’s all there. Gambling thousands on chartered planes. A certain $111 million point guard ducking out on debt owed to JaVale McGee. Pranks where guns are laid out in a statement of machismo being called “horse-play.”

It all derives from Gilbert Arenas and some of his teammates are becoming increasingly weary of his apathy toward consequences. Hard to believe that this guy has yet to grow up.

It’s all there, even what Ernie Grunfeld might do with the team.

Go read everything at Mike Jones Sports. Our friend, formerly of the Washington Times, has put out the best reported story on the Arenas-Crittenton gun situation yet. What are you waiting for? Go read already.

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Gilbert Arenas tweeted a lot as he brought in the new year. He acknowledged that his gun thing is serious, but that he doesn’t do serious things. He said the Shaq rumor wasn’t true, but indicated that even so, panties, blowies and massages were supposedly at his disposal. Arenas almost complains about the drama in his life, yet embraces it because it gives him the attention he so seemingly and desperately craves. He was just being the crazy (in a good way) Gilbert we know, but yet don’t quite understand.

There are a couple reasons to document Gilbert Arenas’ first 24-hours of Tweeting. For one, you might not be one of his 13,338 growing army of followers, students in the study of Gilbertology. Secondly, Tweets can be erased. This site isn’t going anywhere. And if it does, there’s still always the Internet Archive: Way Back Machine. Also worth considering: It’s quite possible that Gilbert Arenas will deny that he was behind his January 1st 2010 Tweets (@gilbertarenas is not currently a verified account). But knowing Gil (sorta), I doubt it.

During the height of Arena’s Tweets on New Year’s Day, while many were planting a palm-smack on their forehead or pleading with him to stop, I wanted Gilbert to keep going. Not because it provides good blogging fodder, although it does, but more because Arenas was being allowed to be human. Twitter offers celebrities such as him, and normal folks such as you and I, the unfiltered freedom to share thoughts, etc..

Sure, everyone should be careful what they say in a public venue, but with $111 million dollars on your side, you don’t always have to go tip-toeing over people’s sensitivities when it’s your own life. Who is to say that Arenas must shut himself up? Or speak through a mouthpiece, an agent, such as Drew Rosenhaus … could you imagine if he was involved?

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When I first learned about Gilbert Arenas and guns on Christmas Eve, way back when it was as “innocent” as him getting the firearms out of his humble, grotto-encased abode because he didn’t want them around his new kid when he already had another kid for a couple years, I tweet-dedicated a Christmas song to him … Onyx, Throw Ya Guns.

This latest news warrants its own playlist. And since the good folks at WizzNutzz are making mixtapes for JaVale McGee, I figure why not join in on the fun.

This one’s for you Gilbert and Javaris. I don’t know much about astrological signs, but it seems like Capricorns don’t get along … especially when it involves gamblin’.

Oh yea, Happy Birthday Javaris. You turned 22 on New Year’s Eve. Hope you woke up feeling well today. Arenas will turn 28 on Wednesday.

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Before they lost to the Thunder and before Flip Saunders got extremely perturbed, bumping a 40-game evaluation period down to 30 games when it was originally 20 games, I asked various Wizards what was their favorite present that they gave someone else for Christmas/the holidays. Several of them, such as Dominic McGuire, Fabricio Oberto, Mike James, Mike Miller, JaVale McGee, Nick Young, Andray Blatche, Caron Butler, and Gilbert Arenas answered.

It’s just Wizards being Wizards y’all.

At 10-20, with more than a record’s reason to be distraught, i.e., read this piece on Hardwood Paroxysm by Matt Moore, people ask me if it’s hard covering the team. I say …

1) I’ll always love the Wizards.

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Gilbert Arenas’ frustration with what he perceives to be a lack of calls in his favor seemed to culminate on Tuesday night in Toronto. Late in the first quarter, he was given a technical foul by referee Greg Willard for arguing a non-call.

On a drive to the basket, Arenas left his feet for a shot and initiated contact with Toronto’s Amir Johnson. Johnson had his arms straight up, but his body did come into contact with Arenas to the extent that Phil Chenier, Wizards television color-analyst, said he was “incensed” because a foul was not called.

When the whistle wasn’t blown, Arenas circled past the ref on the baseline, clapped his hands together and yelled, “Come on!” This did not warrant a tech. But when Arenas clapped his hands a second time, looking back at the ref and saying something else while running down court, a line was drawn. Willard wouldn’t let Gil continue any further and blew the whistle, adjusting his hands in a perpendicular fashion.

Arenas continued to make impassioned pleas to anyone who would listen. Not as impassioned as Scott Skiles when he was given two technicals and an ejection Wednesday night in the Verizon Center, but it was an issue that continued to be on Arenas’ mind nonetheless, including during the game against the Bucks.

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{flickr/Keith Allison}

Episode #4 of the Dagger Report (a Washington Wizards podcast) is here.

This week, Mike Prada of Bullets Forever and I talk about the ways and means of Gilbert Arenas amidst early season struggles. To join us for his conversation, which was recorded on Sunday evening, is Jake Whitacre, contributing editor at Bullets Forever and managing proprietor of Gilbertology.net.

The second segment, recorded on Saturday afternoon, features Jordan Sams of SB Nation’s 76ers blog, Liberty Ballers. Here, we discuss Eddie Jordan’s first year in Philly and the troubles of the Sixers (which aren’t as bad as those of the Wizards).

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There was a larger than usual media contingent at the Wizards’ practice this afternoon. I can’t really say this with conviction since it was only my second time attending a practice, but let’s just say there was a presence on a national level. And we’re talking about practice.

Waiting to be let into the gym, I surveyed the media scene. A bunch evil, lazy looking mofos … with daggers in their eyes and hate in their blood. Of course, I’m being extremely facetious here. But in the eyes of Gilbert Arenas, that’s what they are. Ok, again, I must confess, I’m putting words in Arenas’ mouth … but he did call the media “lazy.”

Arenas spoke in such a sullen and somber tone, he seemed like a kid who’d just lost his puppy. I halfway expected him to break out in a smile, but he didn’t. I know I broke out a couple uncontrollable smirks myself. When Arenas was done, he just quietly put his head down and walked to the locker room.

Here’s an excerpt of his presser …

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Arenas’ Self-Imposed Gag Order Lifted By NBA Judge

Arenas is probably saying something interesting to David Aldridge. {flickr/Keith Allison}

On late Tuesday the NBA fined Gilbert Arenas $25,000 for refusing to speak with media and the Wizards $25,000 for not making him talk. Later that evening, Gilbert’s first “interview” since media day (via Michael Lee of the Washington Post) was an unfortunate dissipation of his personality … about as lethargic as watching elderly people eat white toast while they watch paint dry.

Arenas’ games with the media are a bit annoying. He’s partially silencing himself because he just wants to concentrate on basketball after being injured for so long. Perfectly reasonable. The other part seems like an attempt to be ‘cute’ since he feels he’s been tragically wronged by the media in the past. Uh, not so reasonable.

I’m not saying Arenas isn’t somewhat justified in being miffed toward previous coverage of him. But at the same time, his own words caused much of the strife. It’s not like Arenas was constantly misquoted or taken out of context with malicious intent. He was able to speak directly to fans via ‘Agent Zero: The Blog File’, which was how people became so attracted to his sincerity in the first place. Without blogging, he’s probably just another Ben Gordon.

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A scene from glorious Grand Rapids, MI - {flickr/OZinOH}

Listening to basketball on the radio is hard … damn hard. Hard like drinking warm milk and eating boiled eggs in the hot July sun while getting bit by mosquitoes and suffering from a tequila and red wine hangover.

Ok, well maybe it’s not that bad. Wizards radio guys Glenn Consor and Dave Johnson do a helluva job keeping team faithful updated with developments.

Still, when I hear Consor officially declaring Gilbert Arenas to be “back”, indicating that he hasn’t felt this way about the guard’s preseason cameo appearances up until now, I feel pretty deprived from not being able to see the moving pictures.

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Even though we’re in a state of “this damn economy”, we can rest comfortably that there’s always an NBA player willing to implement his own mini-stimulus package to consumerism … such as Gilbert Arenas and his need to purchase a refrigerator and microwave for one day. And this took place in Michigan, which has recently fallen on hard times … so more kudos to Gil.

How do we know about all this? Why, the Twitter account of one @bigdaddywookie aka JaVale McGee.

{via @bigdaddywookie}

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{via WashingtonWizards.com}

It started sometime in the hour of three o’clock pm on Thursday when Mike Jones of the Washington Times (@sptswrtrjones) tweeted, “Arenas watched two scrimmages this afternoon. Jogging with a slight hint of a limp.”

Uh oh.

My first intuition was to not push the panic button. If Wizards fans are approaching the 2009-10 season as a whole with guarded optimism, then they’re probably guarding optimism surrounding Arenas’ knee more than Avon Barksdale’s crew guards the stash house.

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[photo source: flickr/transplanted mountaineer]

At first Gilbert Arenas wasn’t going to vote….then he changed his mind, got tatted, and blogged it out.

Change is good, but why did Gilbert Arenas really vote for Barack Obama? Well, I will tell you (via theory).

Barack Obama’s Presidency has the science community giddy because he has promised to end the ban on federal funding for stem cell research.

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