Ok, as chance would have it, my preview for ESPN’s TrueHoop Network (of which Truth About It.net is apart) and my preview in conjunction with the big NBA blogger preview (coordinated by Jeff Clark of Celtics Blog), happen to fall on the same day — the Monday before the start of the 09-10 season. Perfect timing if you ask me.

So, below you will find my massive, bang-it-out, smörgåsbord (don’t worry, the proper accents on the Swedish word come for free) preview of the Washington Wizards. Some content is specific to the TrueHoop Network preview, and some content is specific to the big NBA blog preview (which, for the Wizards, was actually supposed to be posted on Sunday, but I waited).

Enjoy and godspeed.

Basketball is a thinking man’s game?

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Sure this is a Wizards blog, but as a DC sports fan, I can’t go without poking fun at the pathetic state of my Redskins.

Now that his play-calling duties have been taken away, I bet Jim Zorn feels just as bad as baby Falcon Heene. It’s probably only a matter of time until Zorny throws up on TV from all the nervousness caused by his pappy, Tiny Dan Snyder.

I bet if he could, Zorn would hop on a balloon and fly far into the sky, away from all his troubles.

{Jim Zorn, Balloon Boy}

And now, Wizards links …

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Mike Miller is keeping his LeBrons …

Okay Mike, I get it and it’s cool with me. Although I may think what I think about LeBron James, I’ve got no beef with you.  LeBron’s shoes are your most favoritest in the whole wide world … and you are BFF with the guy who chose to have a tattoo artist ink ‘Chosen 1′ on his back.

I’m not sure who LeBron thinks actually “chose” him to be whatever it is that he thinks he is (maybe Sports Illustrated is god to him — whatever the case, it’s kind of arrogant).

On a side, but related note: It’s funny … when an athlete is good and some sort of athletic freak-of-nature, he is said to have “god-given talent” (aka chosen). But when someone is born with a disability, it’s called a “being tested.” Oh well and whatever, I’m digressing way beyond my worldly means of comprehension.

The point is, Mike, you named your son after LeBron James’ friend and now you want to keep wearing his shoes. They are light and no other shoe will ever, ever hold you with the same embrace. You say you’ll wear them until they hurt you. Basically, LeBron’s shoes are like a girl you’re seriously dating (but not necessarily one who’s achieved ‘girlfriend’ status … yet).

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Even though we’re in a state of “this damn economy”, we can rest comfortably that there’s always an NBA player willing to implement his own mini-stimulus package to consumerism … such as Gilbert Arenas and his need to purchase a refrigerator and microwave for one day. And this took place in Michigan, which has recently fallen on hard times … so more kudos to Gil.

How do we know about all this? Why, the Twitter account of one @bigdaddywookie aka JaVale McGee.

{via @bigdaddywookie}

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The Washington Wizards are an eclectic bunch with a wide variety of nicknames.

Well, our friends to the Canadian north at Hoop Heads North have put together a list of lesser-known NBA nicknames, and I gladly supplied some of the well-known (at least in Wizards Nation circles), and some of the lesser-known ones that just haven’t caught on (apologies if I missed any):

Caron Butler = Tuff Juice
Brendan Haywood = Artist Formerly Known As Brenda
Dominic McGuire = The Taser, The Cleaner
Etan Thomas = The Poet
Nick Young = The City, Bean Burrito, Red Rooster
Gilbert Arenas = Agent Zero, Black President, Agent Wackipants, Captain Quirk
Antawn Jamison = The Gentleman
Oleksiy Pecherov = Big Oily, Stewie, I Get Buckets Son, The White Hole
JaVale McGee = Epic Vale, The Choppa, Lemon Head, Kill + Mode = Chee$e
Andray Blatche = Unbreakable
DeShawn Stevenson = The Lock Smith
Darius Songaila = D-Song, The Dirty

And below….old nickname-related Photoshops & stuff.

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So I got home after a dinner on Monday night and caught about the last five minutes of the Wizards-Pacers game….seeing the Wiz down 100-91 at the 5:45 mark didn’t exactly instill confidence in the possibility of a win, but I figured that the deficit was at least manageable.

Three minutes is all it took for the atrocious display that is the Washington Wizards to go from being down nine points to 20 points.

Actions taken by Jeff Foster, Danny Granger, and T.J. Ford were the tipping point which led me to easily conclude that not only were things falling apart, but the Washington Wizards were also rising down.

The photoshop concept, suggested by Bullets Forever user Jon L in the comments section here, derived from a Roots album…..the title of which stems from a book by this guy, similar to books being the basis for titles of previously alluded to Roots albums, Things Fall Apart and The Tipping Point, both also good candidates for some Wizards photoshopping.

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While John McCain has never heard of the internet, Barack Obama is all about some NFL Fantasy Football….and knows his stuff.

Recently, ESPN’s Rick Reilly offered a chance to both Presidential candidates to be his fantasy league running mate for a week….only Obama accepted.

So, the two sat down to nominate their fantasy cabinet going off a salary cap system. And who did B.O. choose at the running back position over the likes of Adrian Peterson?

Obama’s choice was obvious….he was going dancing with Choo Choo, he was going to hand out food stamps to Southeast Jerome, get gully with Dolemite Jenkins, get Dr. Do Itch Big to plan the health care system, and Dollah Bill to fix the economy.

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While Gilbert Arenas’ latest blog post is entitled This is Kwame’s Year, (more on than later) the bombshell that Arenas dropped was his opinion on the American political process.

Much akin to Charles Barkley, Gil kinda/sorta admits to being a Republican:

It’s hard for me to vote, because since I’ve been in the NBA I’ve been in the upper class so I’ve been a Republican. If you have any type of money, you’re a Republican, period. So, it’s hard because you see a better looking president in Obama – I don’t even want to say because he’s black, but he just looks the part – and then you have McCain who is Republican and I’m like, man. I know Obama is going to raise taxes on the upper class from 20-60 percent, that’s what I’m looking at.

Of course, Barkley “was a Republican until they lost their minds.”

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The good folks at Epic Carnival got their hands on a $50 gift card from MLB……so the obvious choice was to hold a Photoshop contest (despite a call for boobies and zingers) to see who would get their hands on the prize.

Naturally, I wanted to put my Photoshop skills to the test and attempted to get creative in the 11th hour of the deadline….and here is that attempt:

Hank Steinbrenner is at the wheel. Roger Clemens, Sidney Ponson, and Jose Canseco are all aboard. Milton Bradley is ordering Barry Bonds to get back on while Elijah Dukes is trying his best to escape the fray.

Check out all the other entries here. If you’re around…..you can, like, go and vote for me and stuff. Read more »

As an NBA fan, I want to believe that the fix wasn’t in. But as an NBA fan, I really don’t care. I’m still going to watch the games and the NBA will continue to be the Grade A of my favorite sport.

David Stern simply wanted to make more money. If Donaghy’s rhetoric is true, then the Commish has made his own bed….and should sleep in it, as he has potentially over-stepped his bounds in an unfathomable manner.

Stern has done a ton to promote basketball, and not just the NBA: Globalization of the sport, subsidizing the WNBA, the dress code, NBA Cares program, a tightly kempt Wikipedia profile. I still maintain that Stern is the best commissioner in sports, but if the turd hits the fan, will he continue his 20-year-plus year reign at the helm?

Gotta have money to make money, right? To get that capital for expansion, you need ad revenue. To get ad revenue, you need ratings. To get ratings, you need the involvement of the major media markets. But is this necessarily true? Sure Stern’s heart may have been in the right place, but did he have the wrong fix?

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