Posts for category ‘Photoshop’

Are Steelers fans ready for Dookie and his friend for the playoffs, the Christmas Poo?

Thanks to The Big Lead for reminding us all of the story of Najeh Trenadious Monte Davenport AKA Turd Fergueson. Maybe you thought you went to the University of Miami in sunny Coral Gables, Florida, but you ain’t from the “U” until you’ve defecated in the laundry of a lady.

April 1, 2002, April Fool’s Day nonetheless, Najeh, or Jerome Bettis’ replacement, “The Dump Truck“, decided he would get his day of pranks started early.

At 6 am, Turd sneaked into the dorm room of Mary McCarthy, a student at Barry University. Not 100% positive, but I’m pretty sure the dorm rooms at a fine Catholic university such as Barry are small, just like every other dorm room, ever. So, I’m not surprised that young Mary was awakened by the sounds of a grown 6’1″, 247 pound man dropping a deuce in her closet.

Subsequent charges of 2nd degree burglary and misdemeanor mischief were traded in for a hundred hours of community service, probably cleaning turlets. Mary, scared for life, also filed a 15K lawsuit. Not sure if she won, but let’s just say that I seriously doubt she’s drunk in a bar somewhere right now bragging about how she once saw an NFL player take a poo.

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Ok, so Mr. Irrelevant hasn’t exactly announced the “official” results of the Nick Young nickname vote as of yet. But sources inform Truth About It that most of the precincts have reported, so it’s only a matter of time until Bean Burrito is officially declared the winner.

Why Bean Burrito? Well, it’s what Nick, himself, wanted. Maybe we can call him “BB” or “BBNY” for short. In any case, the timing could not be better (or worse) depending on how you look at it.

Finding out that Antonio Daniels would be out for 2-4 weeks this morning did not sit well on my stomach. His play while Gilbert Arenas is on the sidelines has been vastly unheralded. And unfortunately, I think his being out will lead us all to realize this.

Of course, all over Wizards Insider...they’re hitting the panic button (they being those on the comment board). Thing is, look how this team has dealt with adversity so far. I see no reason as to why the players would get down about the injury to AD. Is it ideal? Well, what do you think? But the Wizards are a tough team and they will continue to be tough.

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Dear Gil,…I ain’t T.I., but I’m talking to you.

Right now, while on that bench, you should be salivating, you should be loving it. I hope you’re learning too. No, not in terms of recovering from surgery. But just look at how this Washington Wizards team is developing; unexpectedly, they are 8 and 5 without you, their superstar. Realize how this team is standing up like men, while the winning-shot-hitting gamer is out with a knee.

Yes Gil, DC’s Wizards are becoming all growns up. Positive signs are strong, but be cautioned, there will be growing pains to survive. On the real, perhaps you doubted it after you got hurt, and I’d say perhaps you are wrong….but this still can be the takeover reloaded season. It’s not just about you taking over. It was never going to be you who won a conference championship, a playoff series, whatever. Hell, Jordan never won those titles either. No, the Chicago Bulls won those titles. Granted, the Bulls would not have been able to do it without Jordan. Just as the Wizards cannot achieve their loftiest goals without Gilbert Arenas.

*semi-side rant* Talking heads such as Stephen A. Smith have recently dumped a bucket of Hater-ade on the blogoshere. He bellowed that bloggers are untrained experts who should not have the ability to reach a mass audience. Not so, Steph Aloysius Smith. What is the point of mass media in the first place? To inform the public. Hint: public is underlined cause it’s kinda important. Blogs, comment boards, message boards…any public venue for expression…swing the power of information closer to where it should be, in the hands of the public. An educated society will simply use the rapidly available dissemination of information to their educated advantage, knowing not to rely on single source reporting, professional or unprofessional. Ahhh…it just clicked didn’t it — wow, a balanced system of sources is good for all of us.

Ok – *100% side rant* – but back to those bloggers Gil, those message board posters, those comment board preachers. Some of them are out there, chirping:
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Watching some football, doing some work, wondering what the Washington Wizards are going to do against the New Jersey Nets tonight. The keys for the Wizards: they really need to pound it inside when Haywood is in the game. When Blatche is playing, do a little more running. Get him working the high post and using his quickness and/or passing skills against the mediocre Nets bigs. Bullets Forever with the run-down….the Wizards have actually lost 6 in a row against the Nets. Last time the Wiz beat them was in December of ’05, blew New Jersey out by 20 in DC.

So yea, what exactly is going on with Jason Kidd? I just wonder what has been in that guy’s mind lately. Let’s run through a quick timeline:

1997-2007 - Marriage, drinkin’, gamblin’, the NBA, hoes, rockin’ out in general.

Jan. 2001 - A night at the Kidd household – Jason Kidd eats a french fry from his son’s plate. His wife, Joumana, yells at him for doing so. He spits the fry right back in her face. She then ran into a door knob.

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What do we know about these two? Well, judging by the game between the Grizzlies and the Hornets last night, Chris Paul is a superstar and Pau Gasol is a chump. Here’s why:

SideBar: My Campaign for Chris Paul, Western Conference All-Star Starter — I don’t care who you put with him, Kobe…Steve Nash….Baron Davis…..Deron Williams, just put them with Chris Paul.

CP3 – New Orleans – 2008 – It’s only right. (And you may recall my previous thoughts about Chris Paul, Steve Nash and Jason Kidd)

Oh yea, back to the WHY….

Caught the end of the New Orleans Hornets-Memphis Grizzlies game last night. Here’s the deal: Game in OT….tied @ 116 and the ball is in Chris Paul’s hands. Mind you , he has a career high in points at this junction (he finished with 43). The Hornets isolate for him, Tyson Chandler comes up to set a high screen and Chris Paul takes it to the hoop for the deuce layin with a couple ticks left. Hornets up 118-116.

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I mean really?…..have you seen that headband that New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick wears on the sidelines? With all that hair spilling over the sides? A little mas o menos if you ask me.

Then I did some digging and found out what Billy really has been up to with all those cameras, scissors, headsets and head-bands. Yes, he got the boys together and formed a band, the Pecan Sandies:

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The campaign has officially begun. We first heard about Gilbert Arenas serving chips & dip on his Agent Zero blog….guess that since Brendan Haywood came up with “Hibachi”, Gil, being the marketer that he is, decided to coin a new name on his own: NACHOOOO!

Ok, I know you have a lot of campaigns to keep up with. There’s the Bullets Forever Nick Young Dunk Campaign, which actually originated with Mr. Irrelevant. I don’t see why you can’t get behind that issue, the more Wizards at the NBA All-Star game in the NOLA, the better.

Speaking of…..people really need to get behind a ‘Tuff Juice 4 All-Star movement. In case you are outside of the DC area, or just don’t know any better, “Tuff Juice” is the nickname for Caron Butler. Thank you Lakers!!

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God Kobe, I wish I knew how to quit you!

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Ever wondered what Michael Vick’s house looked like? No, not the dog killin’ house in VA; this link evidently takes you on a virtual tour of Michael Vick’s Georgia house. I’m still surprised that there’s no doggie rape-room. Guess his place now looks more like Redman’s apartment from MTV Cribs.

Stop Snitchin’! So let me get this straight….if you are a criminal who snitches on another criminal, that’s against street-code, right? Ok, makes sense. What? Innocent people are getting killed for snitching on criminals who have had a detrimental affect on their lives? Well, that’s pussified-code. Of course, you always have Cam’ron…he won’t even snitch on the dudes who shot him in DC.

Stephon Marbury better start watching his back, he’s about to break a street-code. This report from Slam Online has links pertaining to Starbury snitchin’ on Isiah Lord Thomas the 3rd. I told you that both Steph and Zeke had something going on. Dirty Dirt.

Gilbertology wants us to get ready to vote for Gilbert again…..this time for the All-Star game. And at first, I was like, Why? But then I looked at the other guards from the East….straight weak. If I had to predict, Boston is going to rally around Ray-Ray Allen…and the next tier (well, not really next tier, but an additional 5 to include in the top 6 potentials), would be Chauncey Billups, Ray Felton, Joe Johnson, Jason Kidd and Gilbert Arenas. D-Wade is hurt, and Michael Redd should always come off the bench. Then, I started thinking about all the times that bum Vince Carter was voted as an All-Star Game starter and said “Eff that! Let’s all get out and vote for our hometown DC boy!” Good luck Gil.

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