You know the scene in heist movies where the culprit-to-be is waiting for just the right moment to sneak past the rotating video surveillance cameras, or for the right time to dart past high-powered lasers as they focus their energies to burn/singe/kill intruders in another area of the fortress? Well, all that was kind of like what Jordan Crawford had to deal with as he attempted to go to the free throw line for Jan Vesely last night. Except instead of cameras or lasers, it was three NBA referees.

Let’s first take a look at the action in GIF form… Notice Crawford’s calculated, measured steps, which operate contrary to Crawford’s normal basketball modus operandi. Vesely doesn’t know exactly what to do, he just knows to accept as doctrine whatever the kid from Detroit says in this strange land called America.

The maneuver was actually successful, initially. Crawford even went so far as to make an actual free throw before parties responsible for keeping track of such things noticed. If it weren’t for the sideline referee and/or scorekeeper and/or those darn meddlin’ kids, Crawford might have gotten away with it, too. Instead, the violation was caught and corrected. Vesely, who had been fouled by Tyrus Thomas, went to the line and missed both. Actually, Vesely went on to miss four straight free throws. Actually, Vesely is 1-for-9 from the charity stripe on the season. Let’s check the extended video…

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The Bucks led the Wizards, 99-90, with 29.5 seconds left. From their vantage point, the game was over, especially since the Wizards had not gotten within five points the entire fourth quarter. But what this current Wizards team lacks in talent, they make up for in effort and hustle, so they were certainly going to continue playing hard until the final buzzer.

As the Wizards looked to complete an amazing comeback, A.J. Price threw a bounce pass behind Bradley Beal and Monta Ellis stepped in, stole the ball like Havlicek, and proceeded to race down the court for breakaway points, a k a “The Dagger.” Beal was intent on not letting that transaction happen so easily. He pursued Ellis down the court and fouled him hard while he was in the air. Ellis went crashing to the floor, touching off a mini fracas. As both Beal and Trevor Booker went to help Ellis up, Brandon Jennings rudely interrupted by pushing Beal to the floor, which caused various players, referees, and Coach Randy Wittman, to huddle around Beal and Jennings (but not really Ellis, who did not seemed to be phased by any of this and eventually just walked away). Beal was assessed with a flagrant type “2″ foul and was ejected; Jennings was given a technical and was also ejected. The Bucks won, 101-91, shortly thereafter

Coach Wittman mentioned after the game that he liked Beal’s aggressive effort, but he didn’t want him “going over the line.” Beal said he went for the ball, and Jordan Crawford had this to say of the scuffle: ”There was a lot of pretending going on, a lot of pretending, that’s it.” Per the Washington Post’s Michael Lee, Beal will not be suspended for the foul, and Jennings will not be suspended, either.

Here’s what Scott Skiles, Mike Dunleavy, Brandon Jennings, and Monta Ellis had to say about the brouhaha:

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Look, guys, the steez never stops. It simply can’t stop. Not when you lose, not when you have a 10:45 flight to catch to Indiana. Steez all day.

Steez don’t like to lose, though. Steez don’t like pretending, either. When asked what happened toward the end of the Wizards-Bucks game on Friday night (a 101-91 loss for the Wiz Kids) when Bradley Beal committed a flagrant-2 foul on Monta Ellis (for which Beal got ejected), and the subsequent push of Beal by Brandon Jennings (who was also ejected), Crawford simply said:

“Just a lot of pretending going on. A lot of pretending, that’s it.”

And about the 0-4 Wizards getting a win, which they’ll have a chance to do on the Pacers’ home court tomorrow? Read more »

Sexual innuendos … Sports innuendos … Sometimes it’s all in the same game. All basketball players want to put the ball in the hole off penetration, right? We could be here all night, folks.

Milwaukee guards Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis aren’t bashful, that’s for sure. They look to get off every night, if you will — to get buckets. In fact, when Ellis is on the bench, the Bucks average 11.1 3-point attempts per 48 minutes; when he’s on the court, Milwaukee takes 21.5 3-pointers per 48. Or Jennings, when he’s on the court, the Bucks make 40.2 field goals per 48 minutes; when he’s off, they sink a mere 34.8. Together, they average 36 shots per game (Jennings 16.7 and Ellis 19.3), but they’d each be happy with over 20 shots a game, at least.

So why not ask Randy Wittman before the game, what he’s going to two with those two guards just itching to get off.

“You think it’s just tonight they’re itching to get off? I think they itch to get off every night.”

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Kevin Seraphin has only played one game, but if Wizards fans are looking for something positive, it’s him. And pretty much only him. (Although we won’t discount the stylings of Martell Webster.)

Kevin has confidence right now, and that makes all the difference in the world. As Randy Wittman tells it:

“Kevin, his first year, played with zero confidence — couldn’t catch the ball, couldn’t dribble the ball, couldn’t shoot the ball — because he didn’t have any confidence. And now look at him. That’s strictly a lot just to do with confidence. He would do those things in practice, he did those same kind of things — jump hook, a little 10-12 foot jump shot, nice touch — but in the game he had no friggin’ confidence, and he looked like he was lost. That’s the perfect example. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a rookie or you’re a 12-year man, if you’re out there with no confidence, you’re not going to do very many good things.”

Seems like a lot of Wizards can take cues from Seraphin — Wittman would love that. But if finding confidence were easy, everyone would have it. Regardless, I’m not advocating for any other Wizard to go out and get a big angel with six wings tattooed on their backs.

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Who knew that “Bieber Fever” was going infiltrate Washington Wizards practice Monday? I sure didn’t, initially. The throngs of teenage girls and reluctant dads outside of the Verizon Center parking garage/bus ramp quickly informed me. And now — look at me — I’m mentioning Bieber’s name in a blog post. Swell.

“pre concert warmup. ballin with the wizards. #DC” 

That was Justin Beiber’s tweet this afternoon. No, I do not follow him. Otherwise, “ballin’ ” is a term used loosely here. Bieber, who is performing at the Verizon Center this evening, evidently ducked his head into the Wizards practice court and took a gander while Randy Wittman instructed his team, but he didn’t get on the court and start shooting baskets with the Wiz Kids. Do you think Wittman would’ve stopped practice for Bieber anyway? Naw.

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Jordan Crawford, pre-game steez. Photo: K. Weidie

Bradley Beal, Wizards home opener program – photo: K. Weidie

“I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you how other people’s mindsets are, but I know that you have to have confidence in yourself. You know, 80 percent of this game is confidence.”

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That apartment building that burned down in Mt. Pleasant, D.C. forever ago. Photo: K. Weidie

Being gloom-and-doom about the Washington Wizards is a thankless job. It also doesn’t accomplish much, which is likely why no one is thanking you, with the exception of gloom-and-doom Wizards fans for which that has become the standard. They feed off it. They know no other way. And when you waste seasons on terrible basketball and unintelligible basketball players (“bad by design,” supposedly, via Ted Leonsis), it’s to be expected.

But PLAYOFFS? Good luck. You might as well be Andray Blatche claiming that you’re working hard in the offseason while making your own T-shirt that says, “Play Off Starts Here.”

ESPN’s John Hollinger, notorious and perpetual Wizards skeptic, pegs this year’s team to finish 38-44 and tied for ninth in the East. Writes Hollinger in his season preview (Insider): “So enjoy the sugar high of playoff contention this year, Washington. Chances are it will wear off quickly.”

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[Video scenes from Wizards practice on Monday, October 22. Randy Wittman, before training camp, said that his team needed to make some highlights... Well, here some are, kinda.]

Cook Book Strong.

Most Wizards fans have yet to be visually treated to Trevor Booker’s two stellar preseason performances because the powers-that-be felt showing Wizards preseason contests in Toronto and Milwaukee weren’t worth the money. It’s kind of a shame in a ‘games don’t count’ sense.

Averaging 19 minutes over two contests, Booker is putting up 17 points (.640 FG%), 4.5 rebounds and 1.5 steals a night. On Monday after practice, he credited pick-and-roll action for his 22-point performance against the Bucks on Saturday. Just imagine if “Cook Book” had John Wall to trade recipes with. In the video below, Booker powers down Martell Webster with a strong paint move and a lefty baby hook before getting crunk over himself. Enjoy.

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UPDATE on John Wall…

He still has two legs. Here, on Monday afternoon, he performs a dribbling drill with assistant coach Ryan Saunders. This is a John Wall update, in GIF form.

UPDATE on Kevin Seraphin…

He didn’t practice on Monday with that strained right calf muscle of his. A return is indeterminate according to head coach Randy Wittman.

“That’s one of those things that can continue to make great strides in a day or two, but then it could be a week, it could be two,” said the coach. “It’s one of those things — calf, hamstring, any kind of muscle injury — you just don’t know until it runs it course.”

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