[A No. 3 Buoy - image via flickr/mikebaird]

What if the Wizards didn’t win the pre-lottery coin flip tie-breaker against the Los Angeles Clippers after the 2008-09 season? Both teams finished with identical 19-63 records, and even though the Wizards got a single extra combination in the ’09 lottery after winning that coin flip (so, a 17.8 percent chance of getting the top pick instead of LA’s 17.7 percent), the Clippers won the prize, i.e., Blake Griffin. Not only that, but two other teams, Memphis and Oklahoma City, jumped into the top three, bumping Washington to five.

But what if the Wizards, who sent Flip Saunders as their lottery representative in 2009, had been part of the winning combination? They likely would have elected to not trade the fifth overall pick (for Mike Miller, Randy Foye and a money-save) and would have instead drafted (and kept) Griffin.

[To note: Saunders was Minnesota’s rep at the 1995 lottery and also returned to his team with the fifth overall pick, but that turned out to be Kevin Garnett—the Timberwolves finished tied with the Wizards for the second-worst NBA record that season, 21-61. Washington, holding the tie-breaker in odds to win No. 1 (18.3 percent to 18.2), landed the fourth pick and took Rasheed Wallace. Both teams were jumped by Golden State (Joe Smith, No. 1), and Philadelphia (Jerry Stackhouse, No. 3).]

Surely, with Blake Griffin missing his entire first season with the Clippers due to a broken kneecap sustained during the preseason, the Wizards, being themselves, likely would have been bad enough to land a high pick again, i.e., John Wall in 2010.

The what ifs… Wall, Lob City-ing, or whatever, to Griffin in the Verizon Center—the return of “Fun Street.” Speaking of…

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“Watergate” – First it was a fancy Washington, D.C. hotel/apartment complex built in the late-1960s (well, maybe not first; there are other “Watergates” in existence, aside from the literal meaning of the word). Then it was a Presidential scandal in the early-1970s, which took place at said complex. Now, in the early-2010s, it is apparently a basketball expression, one that you’ve likely already seen in pixel form on this very website.

What “Watergate” means in basketball is easy enough to understand. Jumpers have long been “wet,” and the description of a ball going “splash” through the net probably came prior. So, when you’re talking “Watergate,” you’re talking about made jumpers. The term popularized itself around the Wizards locker room this season, but where did it come from?

Garrett Temple and A.J. Price explain…

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No. 1 on this week’s list of stupid NBA basketball stuff: this guy. 

[original image via Evan Vucci, AP]

Second of all, nobody cares. [Wild guess: You, bro, are also a NY Jets fan.]

Third of all, the Heat won a championship recently. You might have heard about it through the Internets if you’ve been a fan of the team for long enough. So, why don’t you go suck on that for a spell. Should provide plenty of nourishment.

Fourth of all, even though your sign does not specifically outline such, you did not pay all that money for tickets to “see Lebron play.” Nope, you paid to see the Wizards of Washington play the Heat of Miami. Susan O’Malley is no longer around, so I’m pretty sure that LeBron wasn’t featured on the ticket that got you into the arena.

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[1978 Washington Bullets Championship Trophy - Verizon Center, Washington D.C.]

In stepped Arnold Heft, Earl Foreman and Abe Pollin. The trio purchased the team for a record $1.1 million¹, moved it to Baltimore, and renamed them the Bullets. They didn’t even have approval from the NBA Board of Governors to make the move, and were initially fined for not living up to a three-year agreement to stay in Chicago. Eventually, the fine was reduced from $25,000 to $5,000² and everyone moved on with their business.

So, technically, the franchise’s 50th year of existence came in the 2010-11, another disastrous 23-win effort on the heels of the Gilbert Arenas (and Javaris Crittenton) “Gun-gate” season prior. At the time, a member of the Wizards Media & PR staff told me that they were not counting the first two seasons in Chicago, and that the clock on 50 years started in 1963-64 when the team arrived in Baltimore.

Thus, according to those specifications, this season is the franchise’s 50th in existence. There are only eight teams in the NBA older than the Baltimore/Washington franchise—the Celtics, Warriors, Knicks, Pistons, Lakers, Kings, Hawks, and 76ers. The Miami Heat franchise turned 25 years old this season and is celebrating it with much fanfare.

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It’s been debated to the point of irrelevancy. Most will tell you, Jay-Z over Nas, especially with the back-minded consideration that the former has Beyoncé on his arm. And Kelis probably hates Nas… So. Much. Right. Now!

It was always mostly about lyricism, amongst the variety of other factors that go into one’s musical experience. I still personally struggle with the debate. They are the two best rappers alive, and for my money, not alive, too (at risk of committing hip-hop blasphemy in not buying into the over-inflated value in the lives and skills of Tupac and Biggie after death).

If Jay-Z’s debut album, Reasonable Doubt, is a 9.8, then Nas’ debut, Illmatic, is a 9.9—I’m hesitant to give anything, even LeBron’s basketball skills, a perfect 10. Ask me in the early-to-mid-2000s (Blueprint albums to the Black Album), and I’d be more inclined to say Jay-Z. Ask me later in my timeline (Street’s Disciple/Hip Hop is Dead to Life is Good), and I’d be more inclined to say Nas (including up to this very day).

I’ll concede that some of Nas’ lows are lower than Jay-Z’s lows, and that Jay-Z’s overall career is more decorated. And I might also find some irony that Nas’ “Ether” effectively killed the mano a mano battle between the two (although Hova’s “Blueprint 2” retaliation off the Blueprint 2 album was pretty badass).

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Well, if it weren’t for the name “Wizards,” we would have never been exposed to the unveiling of Martell Webster “unveiling the Wizard.” But Ted Leonsis should still change the name of the team. Confused? Let me explain.

Early in the fourth quarter during Friday night’s win over the New Orleans Hornets, with the Wizards holding a 74-66 lead, Garrett Temple inbounded the ball and the team went through their offensive set. New Orleans, at times over the course of the night, ran trick double teams and traps against Washington. On this possession, they double-teamed Temple on the sideline coming off a high screen, then they doubled Kevin Seraphin with the ball in the post. No big surprise, except for who doubled him. As part of the scheme, Roger Mason Jr. left Martell Webster at the top of the key to go double Seraphin. Another Hornet was supposed to rotate faster, but still, it’s Martell Webster. Why leave him in the first place? Sure, it’s still Kevin Seraphin, but to everyone’s surprise–a theme on the night–Seraphin was a willing passer, was aware of the double, and kicked it out to Webster.

Webster missed the wide open shot. But Seraphin, using that big body of his, inched the smaller Lance Thomas (6-foot-8, 225) out the way, and Seraphin, along with Trevor Booker, kept the rebound alive. Seraphin’s tip-out ended right back in Webster’s hands.

He crashed, jumped and fought for the loose ball, and in a fluid motion, Webster spun in the lane, took one dribble, and threw down a two-handed dunk. He then beat on his chest like Tarzan, let out a yell, crossed his arms, and mimed ripping something off of his chest. After the game, Webster called the move “Unveiling the Wizard.”

Whatever/In any case… let’s first see what the DC Sports Nexus has to offer, and then hear Webster ham for the cam about his move after the game:

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Picture Credit: DC Sports Nexus

By now, video footage of Washington Wizards television play-by-play announcer Steve Buckhantz is likely perculating its way to viral mortality. His incorrect call of Trevor Ariza’s last second shot is comedy gold. I sure laughed after realizing the ball did not go in. Yet, since I have been conditioned to experience moments of Wiz fandom utopia because of Buckhantz’s “Daggers,” for a brief moment, I was trying to convince myself that my eyes were lying to me.

Ariza’s moping looks sobered me up real quick. It sure was not Jordan Crawford going full Steeze in Portland.

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Seen here: Ernie Grunfeld debriefing with the Monumental Media & PR Network after putting the squeeze on Jordan Crawford.

Who knew Jordan Crawford would be such a polarizing character amongst Wizards Nation?

…In a nation where it’s made easy to concentrate on just about anything aside from winning.

We all should just move on. And, guess what? Jason Collins!!! I’ll let the Theodore Unit take over via his blog: Read more »

Watching the Wizards is different now. OK, it’s only halftime, but they are up 20 on the Nets, 51-31. And per the previous post, the stats are different, better… with certain player combinations (but mostly thanks to John Wall). Several players need to step it up. Otherwise, watching the Wizards is like a Brazilian rug-pulling dance now. Or whatever it was that Nene did to Brook Lopez to make him travel. GIF away.

DeAndre Jordan is a high flyer and an integral member of the Clippers’ “Lob City.”

The seven-foot center’s offensive game is mostly limited to impressive dunks—he’s racked up up 104 of them on the season. His total ranks him fourth in the NBA.

During L.A.’s loss to Wizards on Monday night, Jordan gobbled up a career-high 22 rebounds, but only scored seven points on three made field goals. Of course, all three were slams—some more violent than others.

The field for the 2013 NBA Sprite Slam Dunk Contest at All-Star Weekend in Houston has not yet been set. I asked DeAndre Jordan if he would like to be in it.

“Maybe. I am not really focused on that right now. I just want to get some wins. But I think it would be fun if I was in it, yeah.”

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