No. 1 on this week’s list of stupid NBA basketball stuff: this guy. 

[original image via Evan Vucci, AP]

Second of all, nobody cares. [Wild guess: You, bro, are also a NY Jets fan.]

Third of all, the Heat won a championship recently. You might have heard about it through the Internets if you’ve been a fan of the team for long enough. So, why don’t you go suck on that for a spell. Should provide plenty of nourishment.

Fourth of all, even though your sign does not specifically outline such, you did not pay all that money for tickets to “see Lebron play.” Nope, you paid to see the Wizards of Washington play the Heat of Miami. Susan O’Malley is no longer around, so I’m pretty sure that LeBron wasn’t featured on the ticket that got you into the arena.

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[D.C. Council: setting the scene, rating the starters, assessing the subs, providing the analysis, and catching anything that you may have missed. Unlike the real DC Council, everything here is on the table. Game No. 79, Washington Wizards vs Miami Heat; contributors: Rashad Mobley and Kyle Weidie from the Verizon Center, and Conor Dirks from the Dirty South.]

Martell Webster, writing checks. What you lookin’ at, Bradley? [via @wiz_spurtin]

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Sometimes it’s hard searching for reality in a franchise known for being so bad for so long. You certainly can’t turn to team marketing messages—they might only remind you of this famous butchered quote from President George Bush in 2002:

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on … shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again.”

Just as difficult is attempting to separate fluff from the owner’s blog, Ted’s Take, from a coach simply wanting to do his job. Randy Wittman wants to coach to win; players (most often) want to play to win. Positive pixel messaging and the coach’s intentions can go hand-and-hand, but they don’t always work in unison to clear the clouds from the scene.

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Martell Webster, in his first year as a member of the Wizards, has had an excellent season and a profound impact on the team. His 3-point shooting and unique style of play has been a great fit, especially with Wall at the helm and Beal with him on the wing. Compare Webster’s pertinent statistics on a month-by-month basis this season:

November: 12 games played, 257 total minutes, 103 total points, 43.8% FG, 41.7% 3P
December: 14 games played, 438 total minutes, 132 total points, 39.4% FG, 40.0% 3P
January: 16 games played, 445 total minutes, 195 total points, 46.3% FG, 41.4% 3P
February: 12 games played, 381 total minutes, 149 total points, 51.5% FG, 56.4% 3P
March: 15 games played, 506 total minutes, 224 total points, 43.7% FG, 39.0% 3P
April: 5 games played, 123 total minutes, 45 total points, 34.1% FG, 25.0% 3P

On the season? 29 minutes per game, 11.4 points per game, 3.9 rebounds per game, 1.9 assists per game, 44.4% FG, 42.2% 3P.

Let’s read between the lines a bit, because numbers enjoy the companionship of context. What is the mark for “excellent” NBA 3-point shooting? That’s debatable, but for argument’s sake, let’s say being one of the top 25 3-point shooters in the NBA. The current 25th best, OJ Mayo, hits 40.6 percent of the time. Webster has been above that mark in three out of the six available months (excluding that lonely October game). Two of those months, January and February 2013, came with heavy minutes from John Wall and Bradley Beal. While Wall’s ability to buttress his teammates’ shooting ability has been well-documented, the less publicized point about Webster’s career year has been how well he and Beal have played together.

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[D.C. Council: setting the scene, rating the starters, assessing the subs, providing the analysis, and catching anything that you may have missed. Unlike the real DC Council, everything here is on the table. Game No. 78, Washington Wizards at New York Knicks; contributors: Sean Fagan, Adam McGinnis and John Converse Townsend via television sets.]

Melo Watching [Original photo via Jason Szenes for The New York Times]   Yep, that Carmelo super-quick hesitation move vs Chris Singleton gets Vine’d. #Wizards-#Knicks vine.co/v/btOrgXOVvDu — Kyle Weidie (@Truth_About_It) April 10, 2013

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Indiana Pacers Coach Frank Vogel addresses the media after a loss to the Washington Wizards

Prior to last Saturday night’s game against the Washington Wizards, Indiana Pacers Head Coach Frank Vogel wrote the following words on the white bulletin board in the visitor’s locker room, ”He’s a difference maker.”

The “he” was John Wall, and Coach Vogel was well-aware of Wall’s torrid play during the month of March, when he averaged 22 points and eight assists per game, also putting up a career-high 47 points against the Memphis Grizzlies. Vogel undoubtedly knew that earlier in the week, Bradley Beal, the other formidable offensive threat on the Wizards’ roster, was ruled out for the rest of the regular season with a stress injury to his right fibula. In the first game after the announcement about Beal, the Wizards lost 88-78 to the lowly Raptors in Toronto, and Wall was harassed into a 5-for-18 shooting night, including 1-for-10 outside of the paint. Coach Vogel went on to give specifics about the game plan for stopping Wall:

“He’s a sensational young talent, he changes their team offensively, and you really have to put most of your defensive game plan into limiting what he brings to the table … you still want to keep him out of the paint first, and hope that he’s not getting hot from the perimeter.”

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[D.C. Council: setting the scene, rating the starters, assessing the subs, providing the analysis, and catching anything that you may have missed. Unlike the real DC Council, everything here is on the table. Game No. 77, Washington Wizards at Boston Celtics; contributors: Rashad Mobley, Adam Rubin and Kyle Weidie via television sets.]

“I do not recall the dates in question, your honor.” —Crawfish

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[D.C. Council: setting the scene, rating the starters, assessing the subs, providing the analysis, and catching anything that you may have missed. Unlike the real DC Council, everything here is on the table. Game No. 76, Washington Wizards vs Indiana Pacers; contributors: Kyle Weidie and Rashad Mobley from the Verizon Center.]

Classics. [Elvin Hayes and Wes Unseld speak to the media about the '78 championship and more.] John Wall on flexing muscle and playing in front of the 1978 national world champion Washington Bullets: Retro Scoreboard:

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[1978 Washington Bullets Championship Trophy - Verizon Center, Washington D.C.]

In stepped Arnold Heft, Earl Foreman and Abe Pollin. The trio purchased the team for a record $1.1 million¹, moved it to Baltimore, and renamed them the Bullets. They didn’t even have approval from the NBA Board of Governors to make the move, and were initially fined for not living up to a three-year agreement to stay in Chicago. Eventually, the fine was reduced from $25,000 to $5,000² and everyone moved on with their business.

So, technically, the franchise’s 50th year of existence came in the 2010-11, another disastrous 23-win effort on the heels of the Gilbert Arenas (and Javaris Crittenton) “Gun-gate” season prior. At the time, a member of the Wizards Media & PR staff told me that they were not counting the first two seasons in Chicago, and that the clock on 50 years started in 1963-64 when the team arrived in Baltimore.

Thus, according to those specifications, this season is the franchise’s 50th in existence. There are only eight teams in the NBA older than the Baltimore/Washington franchise—the Celtics, Warriors, Knicks, Pistons, Lakers, Kings, Hawks, and 76ers. The Miami Heat franchise turned 25 years old this season and is celebrating it with much fanfare.

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[click image to view a larger version]

The Okafor Line >>>

Earlier this season, in detracting from his poor play, and rather large contract, the “Okafor Line” was created. Do Emeka Okafor’s points plus rebounds exceed the amount he’s getting paid in millions?

Okafor is making $13.5 million this season and is due around $14.5 million next season, as reports indicate that he will not early terminate his contract which runs through 2013-14. Shattering the Okafor Line should be a cakewalk on paper, lots and lots of green paper.

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