It’s never too early to look at the schedule and start guessing what might happen as a team known for its “relaxed” locker room tries to get serious enough to win a title. DocFunk provides us with the hypothetical antics of the Wizards, and the NBA…

82Games

October

10/27 at Dallas: Gilbert Arenas arrives in a sparkling chariot. He is carried on to the court by his teammates where he shares a flawless 12-step handshake with President Obama (who made the trip). At which point, a teary-eyed Mark Cuban calls Arenas a thug and runs down the tunnel, spilling his ice cream cone in the process. You are probably going to want to see this.

10/30 at Atlanta: So hey, Zaza. You get my call? Over the summer. Oh, okay… I mean we left like seven voice mails… Nah, its cool… jerk.

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