Gilbert Arenas turns 30 today, and who knows how scary this is for the artist formerly known as Gazo the Prankster. He now sits at home and waits for a chance to play basketball again, his quietness magnified by its deviation from his known personality. The video below of Washington fans reacting to the Arenas trade from Washington was shot around 50 hours after he was sent to the Orlando Magic in mid-December 2010.
Gilbert Arenas once called himself the Black President, but the way he governed the basketball court and his world around it after injuring his knee in 2007 was far from diplomatic. The former star’s fall from grace in the nation’s capital is, however, fitting of political scandal.
Many have painted Arenas a complicated person, from fans to media to teammates to team personnel. But he’s not as dense as a mortgage-backed security. No, it’s the digestion of Arenas that was always complicated. One story one day, another the next. His antics were often a disruptive force, pardoned by organizational higher-ups and accepted in the best “boys will be boys” way possible. What former coach Eddie Jordan once dubbed as “Gilbertology” often spilled into the headlines. The NBA has had characters galore, but Arenas’ idiosyncrasies and flaky personae, at their height, were unmatched.
Everyone probably knows a big smart ass and how it’s sometimes hard to determine when they are joking and when they are not. Or someone without a filter that contradicts themselves repeatedly in the same conversation. These are the characteristics of Gilbert Arenas and why I long ago stopped trying to comprehend Gilbertology. I do not have enough degrees to dissect his words, rather, I elect to chalk them up as “Gil being Gil.”
Arenas discussed his thoughts on John Wall, reflected on his experience in Washington, revealed what he really told Andray Blatche, took responsibility for his mistakes, hoped Wizards’ fans will eventually forgive him, and opened up about his time in the halfway house, where he learned to play chess.
The juicy parts, since we’ve yet to hear Arenas comment on this matter, were him refuting some of the personal dirty laundry that the mother of his children and ex-finance, Laura Govan, had been airing in public. He somewhat told his side of the story and kept returning, often unprovoked, to the sore subject of his failed relationship. You could definitely tell he is knee deep in the angry, bitter stage of grief.
Much has been made about Gilbert Arenas eschewing jersey No. 0, and then going from 6 to 9 (very Jimi Hendrix of him). But why? Probably because Arenas’ past nickname, Agent Zero, derived from the number he chose to represent the slight of people saying he’d get zero minutes at the University of Arizona. The chronicles of zero have been well documented since.
Okay, so why No. 9? Well, it was probably time to ask Mr. Arenas himself, so I did.
“Nine means the rebirth … you know it’s the last number before you start something else,” Arenas said. But it sounds better coming from him, so let’s take a look-see:
Gazo the Prankster just never made it to the big screen, or internet screen, or any screen. But you could certainly tell that the cartoon rendition of “Gazo” was modeled off the same blueprint as Gilbert Arenas.
On Friday, in the aftermath of the mythical Gazo the Prankster serving as a character witness for Arenas (via The Washington City Paper), the mold for the cartoon appeared in cartoon form … well actually, “illustrated” with some sort of art medium.
It’s not exactly the Gazo the Prankster kids might watch, but the courtroom sketches of Gilbert may be the closest we ever come to seeing him in cartoon form. Here they go.
Here, Arenas seems to be shrugging his shoulders, with a tinge of Alfred E. Neuman. The cartoon version of Judge Robert Morin seems to be an elder Keith Olbermann-looking kind of fellow, with perhaps a little bit of a perm up front.
As the Post’s Michael Lee reported before the game, Gilbert Arenas has filed paper work to change his jersey number from #0 to #6, and the NBA has given its approval.
What does it all mean? The death of Agent Zero? The birth of Agent Six? With Gilbert, who knows. What we do know is that a current Washington Wizard wears #6, and that would be Mike Miller, who probably had to file paper work himself.
Miller was asked about the number change after the game. {more below the jump}
Episode #4 of the Dagger Report (a Washington Wizards podcast) is here.
This week, Mike Prada of Bullets Forever and I talk about the ways and means of Gilbert Arenas amidst early season struggles. To join us for his conversation, which was recorded on Sunday evening, is Jake Whitacre, contributing editor at Bullets Forever and managing proprietor of Gilbertology.net.
The second segment, recorded on Saturday afternoon, features Jordan Sams of SB Nation’s 76ers blog, Liberty Ballers. Here, we discuss Eddie Jordan’s first year in Philly and the troubles of the Sixers (which aren’t as bad as those of the Wizards).
There was a larger than usual media contingent at the Wizards’ practice this afternoon. I can’t really say this with conviction since it was only my second time attending a practice, but let’s just say there was a presence on a national level. And we’re talking about practice.
Waiting to be let into the gym, I surveyed the media scene. A bunch evil, lazy looking mofos … with daggers in their eyes and hate in their blood. Of course, I’m being extremely facetious here. But in the eyes of Gilbert Arenas, that’s what they are. Ok, again, I must confess, I’m putting words in Arenas’ mouth … but he did call the media “lazy.”
Arenas spoke in such a sullen and somber tone, he seemed like a kid who’d just lost his puppy. I halfway expected him to break out in a smile, but he didn’t. I know I broke out a couple uncontrollable smirks myself. When Arenas was done, he just quietly put his head down and walked to the locker room.
adidas is opening a new store at the Tysons Corner Center tomorrow and Agent Wacky Pants Zero will be on hand to christen the digs.
Arenas will be signing autographs, competing with the fans from the free-throw line, and generally doing his thing.
The store ribbon cutting will be at noon, Gil has the floor for the next hour, which will surely breeze by, and then some D.C. United soc-cer players will be around from 2-3pm.
Normally, I might head to the festivities, take some pictures, perhaps heckle Gilbert some….nah, not really…..but since Tysons Corner is waaaaaay on ass out there (map below)……and I’m one of those cats who is from DC, DC….and I live sans auto (and loving it, plus I can tell the ladies I’m going green)…..and the Caps will be throwing down with the Rangers in their second playoff game at 1 pm…..I won’t be making the trip.
Pat Forde of ESPN.com writes a pretty nice article about New Orleans and the continuing recovery process (pre-BCS national championship game). I hope that NOLA continues to receive media coverage…..anything to further assist the rebuilding.
Have you ever wondered what a wad of cash looks like spread all over the floor of a Virginia Tech football player’s abode….err…. the dwelling of a “friend”? — thanks to the Big Lead for showing us how the Flo-Rida dope boiz do the damn thang.
Ahhhh memories…..I’ll admit it, I used to have a pair of Redskins Zubaz pants, much like the ones worn here by Jim Lachey and brought to the us by Mr. Irrelevant. I’m not sure what happened to my pants….can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not. But I used to be the flyest 8th grader who never wore ‘em out in public. What I can’t figure out is why the good folks at zubaz.com are still in business. They even have pictures on their site of people from modern times modeling the ‘baz.
Winnie Cooper is still kickin’, lookin’ tasty, and just about a third of a century old.
