No. 1 on this week’s list of stupid NBA basketball stuff: this guy. 

[original image via Evan Vucci, AP]

Second of all, nobody cares. [Wild guess: You, bro, are also a NY Jets fan.]

Third of all, the Heat won a championship recently. You might have heard about it through the Internets if you’ve been a fan of the team for long enough. So, why don’t you go suck on that for a spell. Should provide plenty of nourishment.

Fourth of all, even though your sign does not specifically outline such, you did not pay all that money for tickets to “see Lebron play.” Nope, you paid to see the Wizards of Washington play the Heat of Miami. Susan O’Malley is no longer around, so I’m pretty sure that LeBron wasn’t featured on the ticket that got you into the arena.

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“We are going to shock the world.”

This was the answer Washington season ticket holder and Goodman League head honcho, Miles Rawls, said just moments before tip-off between the Wizards and Heat on Tuesday evening. I had asked the iconic D.C. hoops personality for his prediction of the matchup, one where the Wizards were 10.5-point underdogs and plus-475 payout on the money line.

Rawls was not the only one with confidence that the NBA’s current cellar dwellers could defeat the defending champs at the Verizon Center. Coach Randy Wittman delivered an inspirational message to his team before the game, and he discussed  it afterwards.

“They only people that really think you have a chance tonight is us here right in this room,” Wittman remembered telling his team in the locker room.

He then spoke directly to the media attending his press conference: “You guys don’t. The outside didn’t. I said we need to have a statement game, we haven’t had a statement game … what better of an opportunity to come play in front of the fans that we knew were going to be here and to beat this team. And they took it to heart.”

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Here to provide the DC Council Opening Statements for Washington’s 15th game of the season against the Miami Heat in D.C. are TAI’s Kyle Weidie (@Truth_About_It) and guest Surya Fernandez (@SuryaHeatNBA), who writes about the Heat for the SB Nation blog Hot Hot Hoops.

Wizards Starters (1-13):

A.J. Price, Bradley Beal, Trevor Ariza, Chris Singleton, Emeka Okafor
(More changes to the starting crew in consideration? We will see.) 

Heat Starters (12-3):

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Truth About It.net turns a whole five years old at the end of October, which is right about now.

Hard to believe/interesting. Nonetheless, over the life of the site from the 2007-08 season to 2011-12, we’ve seen/lived/suffered through 131 wins, 263 losses, four coaches, two owners, one GM/team president, one Phil Chenier mustache removal, and 56 total players (amazingly, 48 players over the last three seasons).

You may have heard of ESPN’s #NBArank project, now in year two. Now hear of #WizardsRank, where we rank each of those 56 players during Truth About It.net’s five-year run. TAI anonymously polled 27 members of the Wizards pixel establishment — from mainstream media to new media, TAI staffers included, to a few pixel consumers (readers of the site) — and got 17 responses.

Participants were given the full list of 56 in alphabetical order, and included for each player were total games, minutes, PER (player efficiency rating), and WS/48 (win-shares per 48 minutes) only from the last five seasons. Participants were asked to rate each player on the scale of 1-to-10 according to this criteria: on court performance; off court performance; intangibles; and own personal memory. Yes, this is totally subjective, but relatively collective.

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Sometimes I wonder if LeBron James’ spirit animal is Mitt Romney. I’m not quite sure what this means — and not to get all ‘political’ — but just bare with me. Romney was born into a rich family, and LeBron was born rich with physical gifts that the NBA has never seen before. Both, I’m sure, had to work hard to get to where they are. Both, I have seen, are capable of having emotional expressions on their face which appear obsessively calculated and robotic. (But who doesn’t have silly expressions on their face sometimes?)

What it boils down to is this: Can you see a young “Glove” Romney having all the fun in the world with a dollar bill, a fishing lure, and an inner city street near a homeless shelter? Certainly. And perhaps that’s the visual elicited from the below LeBron GIF-ery performed against the Wizards last night. Let’s watch…

Wait, what just happened? Let’s watch from another angle…

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[D.C. Council: setting the scene, rating the starters, assessing the subs, providing the analysis, and catching anything that you may have missed. Unlike the real DC Council, everything here is on the table. Preseason Game No. 7, Washington Wizards at Miami Heat (in Kansas City, MO); contributors: Adam McGinnis, Rashad Mobley and Kyle Weidie.]

Jordan Crawford can pass? Yes, Jordan Crawford can pass… to Jan Vesely, a GIF.

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Washington Wizards majority owner Ted Leonsis spoke with the media for over 30 minutes on Thursday evening from team’s training camp on the campus of George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. TAI was there. Below is part one of all that — some stuff in video, some in text.

TED Leonsis On…

>> TED LEONSIS ON: ROSTER TURNOVER

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[NOTE: Truth About It.net 2011-12 Player Reviews continue, where we take a look at the past, present and future of those players who have touched the Wizards franchise during the 2011-12 lockout-shortened season. Now, we review a player who has had an on-again, off-again relationship with the Washington Wizards—Cartier Martin. TAI's Adam McGinnis and John Converse Townsend look back on Martin's 17 games in a lockout-shortened season. -Kyle W.]

Player Review Index:  Morris Almond (we’d like to)  |  Andray Blatche  |  Trevor Booker  |  Brian Cook (maybe)  |  Jordan Crawford  |  Maurice Evans  |  Rashard Lewis  |  Shelvin Mack  |  Cartier Martin  |  Roger Mason Jr.  |  JaVale McGee  |  Nenê  |  Kevin Seraphin (coming soon)  |  Chris Singleton  |  James Singleton  |  Ronny Turiaf (meh)  |  Edwin Ubiles (we’ll see)  |  Jan Vesely  |  John Wall  |  Nick Young

PAST

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On Saturday night in South Beach, the Washington Wizards beat a LeBron James/Chris Bosh/Dwyane Wade-less Miami Heat team, 86-84. The Wizards improved to 17-46 on the season without Trevor Booker, Roger Mason Jr., Andray Blatche and Rashard Lewis, as Ted Leonsis might remind you (playing without Blatche… very funny, Ted). Showing signs and giving hope that this current set of players is more worthy of playing together as a team going into next season, the Wizards now hold the second-worst record in the NBA after the seven-win Charlotte Bobcats and before the 20-win Sacramento Kings and New Orleans Hornets. With three games left, beating the Heat also gives Washington their first three-game win streak of the season. The Wizards won three in a row once late last season over the Cavaliers, Bobcats and Pistons. Prior to that, a streak of three wins or longer hadn’t been accomplished since victories over the Heat, Bulls and Pistons in April 2008. Below is the reaction to that rare third win.

M.V.P.

With nine assists and zero turnovers in the fourth quarter (13 and five on the night), how could I not give the MVP to John Wall (especially after I spoke bad about his passing on Twitter)? Also, credit the strength of Nene’s hands and his ability to finish with agility; four of Wall’s assists in the final period were off pick-and-roll action to the Brazilian, including the game-winning layup with 0.5 seconds left. But, ultimately it was John’s blazing bursts of speed that Mario Chalmers could not touch which gave the Wizards better chances, and the win. Wall still has major lessons to learn about creating and seeing passing lanes, and his jump shot continued to look bad (0-for-5 outside the paint; 13 points on 6-for-11 FGs), but he was active on defense (four steals) and put his body on the line to draw a key charge against Udonis Haslem late in the game. Wall had what it took to win on this night.

X-Factor.

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It’s been about three weeks since the Washington Wizards, Los Angeles Clippers and Denver Nuggets collaborated to exchange parts. The Wizards gave up Nick Young, JaVale McGee and Ronny Turiaf and got Nene, Brian Cook, and a 2015 second round draft pick belonging to the New Orleans Hornets (via the L.A. Clippers) in return. Los Angeles received Young in exchange for Cook and the second rounder, and Denver received McGee and Turiaf in exchange for Nene. The Nuggets soon thereafter waived Turiaf, who then signed with the Miami  Heat. To check in on the aftermath of this trade, I turned to some authorities for the involved franchises for commentary. Nick Flynt (@ClipperBlogNick) of ClipperBlog, Jeremy Wagner (@RoundballMiner) of Roundball Mining Company, Sean Fagan (@McCarrick) of Bullets Forever, and Kevin Arnovitz (@KevinArnovitz) of ESPN.com/TrueHoop drop some knowledge on the Clippers, Nuggets, Wizards and Heat respectively. Read on…

L.A. CLIPPERS

Intro: The Clippers had to know what they were getting with Nick Young, right? In 1,211 minutes with Washington this season, Young had a FG% of 0.406 and an eFG% of 0.468; he also picked up 1.4 assists per 36 minutes. In his hometown of Los Angeles, Young’s FG% has dropped to 0.373, his eFG% to 0.444, and his assists/36 to 1.0. With a nice recent run of eight wins to one loss (vs. the Lakers), the Clippers are 9-4 since Young made his debut (although, 0-3 when Young starts). So… how’s that trade working out? (Bonus if you miss Brian Cook.)

NICK FLYNT – ClipperBlog:

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