Today’s Washington Wizards News Fit For Photoshop Pixels

‘Wizards Shopping Blatche’

…Said ESPN’s Marc Stein on the Daily Dime last Friday. And look, everyone knows that when you shop an Andray Blatche, you shop him hard. We’re talking Costco free samples style. Because there’s no better way to get customers hooked than to give them a taste on the house. It also works in the hardcore drug dealing game as seen on television.

Meanwhile…

‘Flip Saunders On Steady Diet of Subway’

After Monday’s loss to the Houston Rockets, Flip Saunders had this to say: Read more »

The truth of the matter is that no one really knows when or where the NBA Playoffs or “Play Offs” starts. Hell, it might even, oddly enough, begin with the league’s official Twitter account, @NBA, announcing the ‘symbolic’ cancellation of 43 preseason games IN ALL CAPS today.

It’s just so hard to tell.

Rumor has it that a locked-out Washington Wizard, Andray Blatche, recently discovered the commencement of playoff aspiration at a small, obscure gym in Clarksville, Maryland. However, Truth About It.net has learned, according to unnamed sources which do not exist, that the path to the post-season actually started long ago. Once again, we turn to technology to tell the story of how the Washington Wizards are preparing to “play off.”

Off of what? Well, that’s still a mystery.

First of all … who says the playoffs has to start in Clarksville, Maryland? Why not where Andray Blatche has been training all summer, South Beach Miami? Remember in Rocky IV when Ivan Drago trained with scientists while Rocky chopped wood in Siberia? Well this could be the exact opposite of that. Read more »

Commentary, links, a picture, a photoshop, etc…

[This was one of my favorite pictures that I took at Capital Punishment back in August;
James Harden drawing a late-game shooting foul against DeMarcus Cousins.]

> Of course…

Andray Blatche has a coloring and activity book, of course, images of which via Bullets Forever‘s Mike Prada — It’s for the kids and all. At the DC Sports Bog, Dan Steinberg has noticed that Blatche is très muscular in the renderings. Here’s an example:

> Using technology, DNA samples, sheep-cloning etiquette, and vodka, we were able to bring a page from Andray Blatche’s coloring book to real life…

Read more »

A Photoshop, links and commentary…

Who knows if it’s true … who cares? This isn’t a gossip site. All I know is that someone on Twitter directed me to some site called MediaTakeout that is relaying gossip about DeShawn Stevenson possibly being illegally married to two women at the same time. There’s really no “evidence” as the site advertises, aside from a 2003 marriage certificate to the supposed first wife, which neither proves he is still married to that woman nor married to another. Basically, all this is a bunch of noise (and the story looks to be from early December 2010, but you won’t be stopping me if you’ve already heard). So what do we do with noise sometimes? Why, we stuff it in the Photoshop Machine, ignore the fact that we have a hand in spreading the gossip (once it’s on the Internets, there’s free-reign captain), and come out with the below hypothetical.

Just what if, instead of Abraham Lincoln, Stevenson got a tattoo of Joseph Smith, Jr. on the front of his neck, founder of Mormonism and, of course, polygamist. It just might be a scenario meant for itself.

Another question worth posing … does this provide new nickname fodder for Stevenson? Big Love? Should we call him a regular Bill Pullman? These are the questions to which there are no known, or right answers. That’s life (for DeShawn Stevenson … “Mister 50 (percent)” … Hey! Double entendre!). Now go read some links.

Links.

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Sixteen losses in a row and counting. The Wizards showed some bright spots in Tuesday night’s loss to Houston, such as JaVale McGee. Actually, he was pretty much the only bright spot. Well, James Singleton played okay.

Andray Blatche’s 31 points, 10 rebounds, four steals, three assists and three blocks you say? Well, when you play 41 minutes and receive the ball ALL. THE. TIME. (he took 23 shots) you are supposed to put up those numbers. He still has too much Tin Man in him … no heart … especially when it comes to rebounding toughness.

The Wizards mostly showed that they did not deserve to win. I’m sure some are saying, ‘Hey, those guys competed without Foye, Thornton, Gee, etc.’ But the Rockets also competed without Kevin Martin, Shane Battier and Jared Jeffries. Plus, the Wizards were beaten by Chase Budinger. Enough said.

Nonetheless, below are the notes and observations I took/made as I watched the game on delay at my leisure.

Note: Starters: Livingston, Young, Miller, Blatche & Oberto — 25th different starting lineup, 21 wins … something to be said about that ratio.

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Prior to Saturday’s 97-86 loss to the San Antonio, Flip Saunders indicated that for the most part, Brendan Haywood would guard Tim Duncan straight up and they would run one-and-a-half men toward the Spurs center “at times.”

Duncan finished with an efficient 23 points (10-16 FGs), seven rebounds, and three assists in 36 minutes.

Flip Saunders

After the game, I asked Coach Saunders asses how the defensive plan against Duncan worked. He said:

“Well we didn’t want to double at all. Every time we doubled, we gave up a three-point shot, which we weren’t supposed to be doing. So, like I said, when you play against a good team and you don’t stay with your game plan, you mess up, you pay the price.

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I experienced a “first” on Wednesday night.

In the Wizards locker room before the game, I noticed a stack of duPont Registry magazines under one of the huge flat screen televisions. If you aren’t familiar with the duPont Registry, it’s a publication full of fancy/luxury cars, etc. that only really, really rich people can afford. One of my friends had a duPont Registry once, but it was just for lookin’, not for buyin’.

So … Wednesday night was the first time I was in the vicinity of the magazine while also being in a room full of dudes who could purchase something from it.

So I have that going for me.

After Wednesday’s win over Milwaukee, I was all ready to write about Earl Boykins, as was everyone else in the world (and I kinda did … below), but life/work got in the way of a more formal game write-up. It happens.

I’ll be going to/reporting from the Toronto game tonight, and … IT’S FRIDAY!

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Ok, as chance would have it, my preview for ESPN’s TrueHoop Network (of which Truth About It.net is apart) and my preview in conjunction with the big NBA blogger preview (coordinated by Jeff Clark of Celtics Blog), happen to fall on the same day — the Monday before the start of the 09-10 season. Perfect timing if you ask me.

So, below you will find my massive, bang-it-out, smörgåsbord (don’t worry, the proper accents on the Swedish word come for free) preview of the Washington Wizards. Some content is specific to the TrueHoop Network preview, and some content is specific to the big NBA blog preview (which, for the Wizards, was actually supposed to be posted on Sunday, but I waited).

Enjoy and godspeed.

Basketball is a thinking man’s game?

Sure, many Wizards have a championship on the brain, but what else?

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Mike Miller is keeping his LeBrons …

Okay Mike, I get it and it’s cool with me. Although I may think what I think about LeBron James, I’ve got no beef with you.  LeBron’s shoes are your most favoritest in the whole wide world … and you are BFF with the guy who chose to have a tattoo artist ink ‘Chosen 1′ on his back.

I’m not sure who LeBron thinks actually “chose” him to be whatever it is that he thinks he is (maybe Sports Illustrated is god to him — whatever the case, it’s kind of arrogant).

On a side, but related note: It’s funny … when an athlete is good and some sort of athletic freak-of-nature, he is said to have “god-given talent” (aka chosen). But when someone is born with a disability, it’s called a “being tested.” Oh well and whatever, I’m digressing way beyond my worldly means of comprehension.

The point is, Mike, you named your son after LeBron James’ friend and now you want to keep wearing his shoes. They are light and no other shoe will ever, ever hold you with the same embrace. You say you’ll wear them until they hurt you. Basically, LeBron’s shoes are like a girl you’re seriously dating (but not necessarily one who’s achieved ‘girlfriend’ status … yet).

But here’s the problem, this girl you’re dating (or what the shoes represent: LBJ and the team he plays for, the Cleveland Cavaliers), has had “issues” … not only with at least one of your current teammates/friends, but she has left bridges burning all over the city in which you live/play.

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Even though we’re in a state of “this damn economy”, we can rest comfortably that there’s always an NBA player willing to implement his own mini-stimulus package to consumerism … such as Gilbert Arenas and his need to purchase a refrigerator and microwave for one day. And this took place in Michigan, which has recently fallen on hard times … so more kudos to Gil.

How do we know about all this? Why, the Twitter account of one @bigdaddywookie aka JaVale McGee.

{via @bigdaddywookie}

Now, some were calling it ‘rookie hazing’ … but JaVale will be the first to tell you, he ain’t no rook.

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